The blog

20 weeks with baby number 3

Hey everyone, its been a while since a blog post, so I apologise. Some of you who follow me on Instagram would have known already by my insta videos ( which I am new at, and still trying to get the hang off!) that I am pregnant! I have been rather quiet with this one, more or less just really enjoying this pregnancy. Ive enjoyed having a little secret to myself for a while. But now I’m half way and about time I shared an update with you all!

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20 weeks with baby number 3

The first 3 months have been fairly easy, not much nausea just a lot of tiredness. I had an early gestational diabetes test, which I have not heard back from, so I’m assuming all good…..and considering how I felt with Elijah and how I feel this time, couldn’t be more different! This pregnancy is a lot more like when I was pregnant the first time with Timmy, it was easy and comfortable and I really enjoyed the experience. Elijah, well that was a whole other ball game. I hated every minute being pregnant, I hate saying that. But it was true. It was very hard to control anything to do with my body, what I ate and how I felt before or after i ate, my tiredness level was horrendous! however the minute I gave birth I felt I could have run a marathon, I literally felt amazing again. Goes to show what gestational diabetes can do to you!

I thought we would stop after baby number 2, but I realised the moment I gave birth to him that would be that last time. I was sad at the thought of never getting to go through pregnancy again, feel baby kicks and getting to go through labour again. Yes, labour sucks, but it is the most rewarding experience you will ever have in your life, well it was for me anyway! You go through hours of pain to get the most amazing gift at the end of it! There is literally no high like it when you see and hold your baby in your arms, its pure magic.

well I have really been enjoying my pregnancy a lot this time around. Really absorbing it all. I’m getting a lot bigger now and feeling baby move a fair bit more, however baby is a lot more quiet in the moving department then the other two were. I have had my scan to tell me the sex of my baby. If you want to know, send me a msg, ill tell you 🙂 I wont write it on here as other people may not want to know.

With every pregnancy there are new fears I face every time. With Timmy it was all new, I feared the unknown. And after the birth everything was different, it was overwhelming, the tiredness was a whole new level I never knew. but after 4 months it all settled down, we found our rhythm and it was good. With Elijah I was worried how Timmy would handle the new addititon, but on a whole he was good. He just decided to go through his threenanger stage after Elijah was born, which kinda sucked and made my life very stressful. He seems to be getting a bit better now. But after Elijah I hit Post Natal Depression, my stress was off the grid it was awful….speaking to doctors and councillors all they suggested was drugs, especially after the doctor told me I would need drugs to come of the original drugs they would give me….um, no thanks. I decided right there and then I had to sort my shit out, whether it was timing or just me, somehow I managed to get my shit together. It was not easy, but I am lucky I got through it, it took a good 5 months. So yes I am nervous that PND will begin again after baby number 3, but I am currently taking steps to try and get my head straight, try to be aware of when I’m feeling low, and try to take a different approach after baby is born. only time will tell if this helps or not. If not there is a course on PND I can do through the Parental Stress Centre, who I did a course through them after my last baby called “find the calm amongst the chaos” and I can not tell you how much that helped me. You can read about my story on that here The Parental Stress Centre 

Its now 20 weeks with baby number 3, and I had my first hormonal breakdown a few days ago. My fears going forward are obviously PND, and Elijah. He is very clingy and needs my attention a lot. He screams and cry’s constantly when I am around, for other people he seems fine, but when it is me, its not good enough he needs to be with me or on me or have my attention a lot of the time! I am hoping after he starts talking he will calm down on the screaming and crying. however, I am looking forward to having our last addition join the family. Timmy is very excited for the new addition, he has helped choose the name also. I am not worried about him, he is such a smart little cookie and yes he has days he is a right pain in the arse however, he is such a beautiful little boy, very intelligent and makes a really good big brother. He loves to help me out when he is in the mood. His latest helping is vacuuming the floor. I am not complaining.

So after my feeling a bit low the other day and loosing my temper one too many times at the boys, I decided I needed to try and get on top of this once again before it gets out of control. I went onto the Parental Stress Centre website and found a course which now suits me. I will blog about it later once I am finished it. It is called The Happy Mum Course. I Just started 3 days ago, it goes for 10 weeks. I will blog all about it. I honestly love this centre, it suits me perfectly, and from my experience speaking with a counsellor this course beats that hands down! 

I am lucky this time around, we have everything we need for the last addition. All the furniture, a lot of gender neutral clothing – but either way this baby is getting all the hand me downs! The only thing extra we need is to get a pram that fits both Elijah and the new baby. Baby Bunting, here we come! I loved shopping there for all the stuff we needed for Elijah, they were so helpful and the prices were so good! Were hoping that the car seat capsule fits into the car so we will not need to buy a new one of those either! But other then that we are pretty much set ready to go! I’m looking forward to this next stage, and knowing this is absolutely our last bubba. I am happy with this, and accept it. I am just really enjoying every single second of this pregnancy and want to take it all in. I did not really with Elijah, I wasn’t feeling right and then after with the PND was just horrible. The newborn stage went by in the blink of an eye. I barely recognise Elijah as a newborn, its a blurry first 5 months with him which makes me sad. So this time I really want to just try to take everything in, and I’m hoping by working with the Parental Stress Centre through their course this will help keep me on track.

Ok, so that is all so far from me! So far so good on my pregnancy. Be sure to check out my Insta & Facebook page for picture updates along the way!

Candice xx

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Reviews, The blog

The Parental Stress Centre

So those of you that follow me on my Social media accounts such as my Facebook Page will know that 2 weeks ago I had a Mummy Meltdown. Let me give you the back story so you will understand how I  got to that point.

I gave birth to Elijah back in March and since bringing him home I have been feeling very anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and feeling I am not coping on a day to day basis. Elijah is now 3 1/2 months old. Before I had Elijah I was a lot more in control, and I felt like I could handle Timmy most of the time. There were rare occasions where I would have a bad day, but these were far and few between! I guess the timing of Timmy turning 3 just after giving birth to Elijah hasn’t helped. He has turned into a little Threenanger. This is a serious thing, forget terrible two’s they were a breeze, but once they hit 3, WOW! So trying to cope with his outbursts and tantrums while managing a new born baby has not been easy to say the least. Every day I suffer from major mummy guilt over trying to give Timmy the attention he needs and trying to breast feed Elijah and change a thousand nappies a day. I forgot how much stuff comes out of such a little human being! Every day for the past 3 1/2 months I have been feeling guilt ridden, felt like I am not coping, feel like I should be able to do all the washing, keep a clean house, give enough attention to both children, cook dinner, and make them healthy and something every one would like. I would be lucky if I got through a load or two of washing, and that doesn’t include putting it away! No one else was putting this pressure on me, but me! I feel like every day I should be an octopus with 8 arms. My expectations are way too high, on myself and on Timmy. He is 3. Yes, he is naughty, cheeky and testing. I feel I should be able to handle this, and honestly I have not been able to. Every night when I put him to bed, I promise tomorrow will be better and I will be a better mum who doesn’t loose her temper and who is more patient and understanding, but then the next day is just as it was the day before. The stress had just got too much and I am fearful it is turning into depression, if it has not already. I feel like I have no control and it does not help when well meaning family tell me i’m not doing things right, or I should be doing more of this or that. I don’t think social media has helped much either, with people only posting the most amazing pictures and stories of clean houses, kids playing incredibly well, outings where kids behave, home cooked meals from scratch. That is why for me, posting as honestly as I can about my struggles and my reality is important. Whether it be on my blog, instagram, fb or twitter. You will always see pictures of a messy house, my imperfect arts and crafts or cooking attempts and basically the reality which is life. Of course there are days which do go wonderful, and I go to bed feeling like the best mum in the world, however of late these are less and less. which seems to be my problem

Enter the Parental Stress Centre. In the midst of my mummy meltdown, telling my 3 year old son I couldn’t take anymore, I didn’t want to be a mummy anymore and I was going to go to work instead, an ad popped up on my facebook feed. The weirdest thing is, I never looked them up, I was not seeking outside help, it just randomly popped up on my face book computer screen at what could only be described as the exact moment I needed it to. I am the biggest skeptic out there, and I never click on these facebook ADS, but curiosity got me and I was at my wits ends so I clicked on the AD, what did I have to loose?. It was the best decision I made! Reading about there programs, how they can help, what they offer….I thought perhaps this might just be what I need. So I registered! I signed up for their 28 day program, find my calm challenge. We are currently on day 11, and I can honestly say this is EXACTLY what I needed! I love the live Q&A once a week with Jackie Hall. She explains everything so well, clearly and everything makes sense and i’m always left wondering why I did not know this before, or how did I not see this or understand this earlier?

Every day they send you an email in the morning, which comes with an audio version also. I prefer to listen to the Audio version then reading, I find I absorb what is being said better and each day it will cover a new topic such as ‘Understanding your Toddler’. I love waking up to these, especially after a bad night with Elijah being up and attached all night and i wake up feeling tired and irritated before the day has even began. Then at the end of the lesson they give you home work, these are tasks they ask you to do, which you do not send in, there just extra to help in your understanding and to help put the lesson into practice. You can choose to do them or not, they are up to you. I do them when I can. The past few days I have not had a chance. Things have been a little hectic, so ill open the email and listen to the audio version if I’m busy and don’t have time to sit and read, ill put the audio on while washing up or cooking or breast feeding and listen to it that way! Honestly, everything they say makes so much sense, and the hardest part is getting myself to rethink and rearrange my old habits and stop myself conflicting against the reality of what is happening as apposed to my expectations of what should happen. It is so easy to get myself stressed and worked up. But then I just need to stop, think about what I have been told, how to handle it and try the best I can in the current situation. This is easier said then done, some days I can handle, others get the better of me, and I just give up! I am working on it.

They have a closed face book group which I LOVE because every single other person on there you can relate to! They are all strangers, and you can post your problems and they all post with advice or there personal story. It is such a relief and just feels really nice knowing your not the only one who struggles as a parent. Obviously you already know you are not the only person which struggles as a parent, however some days can feel isolating, even if you have close friends, family and your partner/husband/wife ect around you, you can still manage to feel very alone with your problems.

I have had friends and family message me offering me advice and reassuring me I am doing a great job and I am not alone in how I am feeling, they assure me “we have all been there”. I truly appreciate these messages of support. Carl has been great, booking me a night away so I could take some time off. Much needed. I think Carl puts up with a lot, most night he comes home after working all day to a messy house, no dinner cooked and Timmy still awake as he refuses to go to bed for me! But when he walks through those doors, it is like a wave of relief, I have help, I have a team member who can step in so I can breathe. I feel happy, relieved and guilty all at the same time. I think I have let the stress and pressure every day get to me for too long and it is now weighing too heavy so this is why I decided to sign up to this program. Honestly, if there are any parents out there struggling and you feel you need help, you must look them up! They offer other programs besides the one I am doing. Its only day 11, and I have a long way to go, the program I am on is 28 days, but what I have learnt so far has been eye opening. I am really happy I chose to click on that AD when I did. I have a lot of self work to do, but I am looking forward to it and hopefully I will improve my every day outlook on life! I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress and let you know my final thoughts at the end of the program.

If you feel you need extra help or are feeling stressed or struggling to cope, please look them up!or click this link to be directed straight to their website  parentalstress.com.au I highly recommend them!

XX Candice XX

PLEASE NOTE: I have not been asked to write this post or in no way has this  post been endorsed, paid or otherwise. This is purely my experience using this service. I love sharing useful and helpful tips when ever I come across them!

books we love, The blog

A Routine and why it saved me!

Being a new mum I thought I knew what was coming, what to expect and anything that I didn’t know would come along with mum instinct right? Its a built in thing us lucky mums have that’s just there and will guide us when we get a bit lost….not exactly! I knew I was in for sleepless nights, lots of feeding, nappy changes, the crying, sterilizing and all of that. I understood my life was about to change for the better, but I thought I could still continue my life as much as possible as normal as possible and baby would have to fit in with my life. How wrong could I have been? I honestly had no idea how clueless I actually was until my son arrived. I would feed him, and only 30 minutes later he would be screaming, why is he crying? I’ve just fed you, perhaps I wasn’t feeding him enough? maybe he was just one of those demanding babies I’ve heard about? I had no idea when he should be sleeping or how long for, I just went along with when he slept some days it felt like he slept all day, others he barely slept. Being stuck at home all day with this tiny demanding little person, being extremely sleep deprived (trust me when I say until you have had a child, you really don’t know what sleep deprived is!) add to that the crazy hormones that make you laugh or cry uncontrollably, without any prompting whatsoever. The constant feeding, crying, sleeping or not sleeping, burping, changing, washing, sterilizing, there isn’t a lot of time for much else in your day in those early months. My partner would come home late at night and ask what I had eaten. I would have a think, surely I’ve eaten, but what…then it would hit me, I’ve not eaten a single thing all day! I’ve not had time to think about food, let alone prepare food. I hadn’t even realized I was hungry! It was around when my son was 2 1/2 months I posted to all my friends if there are any routines that they know of that works, or any advice they can suggest as I seriously was at my wits end. I couldn’t go on like this for much longer, it was really really hard. A lot harder then I had anticipated.

Then  a friend sent me a book that she swore saved her life, and I can tell you absolutely saved mine! I have since passed it on or recommended it to other mothers, who all say its worked amazing for them too and so glad I recommended it. I love sharing any helpful advice, tips and trick which can make life easier for everyone. If I have experienced it first hand and its worked for me, I’m more then happy to pass the secret along to everyone! by the way, this isn’t a promotional or paid post. I don’t do those. I just truly love this book!

The book is by Gina Ford its called “The Contented little baby”

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The day after I received the book, I started the routine. I was obsessed with it, I had it on my bedside table and read it before bed and first thing in the morning, it did not leave my sight. Ask my partner, he found it funny. But once he saw the difference it made to me and my son, he was glad I found the book!! talk about a baby falling straight into a routine, it truly couldn’t have been easier. Maybe I was lucky and my son is just a routine baby, but he slept when they suggested, he ate when it was suggested and was contented in between his feeds and at 4 months, he started sleeping right through the night. Kid you not. From 7am through until 7pm. it only took me one month of the routine to get him into this night sleeping habit, that’s the bit which truly made the difference, happy mummy! Feedings were making sense, and I really wish I had found this book earlier before as it would have helped a lot with breast feeding and all the confusion I had!

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second child and I will be looking into her other book, “The contented baby with toddler” my first son is now 2 and a half and I have been worried about how I am going to cope with a toddler and a baby. As I now know how much attention both a new born baby and a toddler need, I’ve worried about how my son will adjust to a new baby. I have not read it yet, but I have put it on my Christmas wish list. I’m sure it will become my new obsession!

So this is my bit of advice for new mums or anyone who just is struggling, this book truly did wonders for me and my sanity. So that is my pearl of wisdom for new mothers. have a read!! If you have read this book, please share your thoughts and experiences with me, or any other books you know of that have worked for you or others. I love hearing all about them!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx