Living in Oz – 8 month update!

It has been 5 month’s since my last update on how we are all settling into OZ. So it’s about time I filled you all in as I get asked all the time how we are going over here, and a lot has changed since my last update living in oz, 3 month update so read on to find out.

So as soon as Carl was not on his Tourist Visa and got put on his Bridging visa, he started looking for work. He spoke with a few recruitment agencies and had a couple of job interviews before finally landing a job. When he started looking for work, we had 2 options. He could find work in the city, which meant a move closer that way and the travel by train every day, or we could look down south and try find a place to live down there. He found a job down south he liked with decent pay where he could support us all while I’m off work with the children and with decent hours so we would be seeing more of him. So south it was, he accepted the job and it was time for us to find a house to move into. We looked close to where he was working, but they were great let downs, you could not have paid me to live in any of them. Plus there was not a great selection or options available. So we decided to look around the area my family live in, it would mean a 45 minute commute to work for Carl every day though. We looked at a few houses, but none me and Carl could agree on, until the real estate agent convinced us to look at one property, which was a good $50PW over our budget.  We are glad he did, as it was perfect. Carl was sold before he even walked in the door! We agree’d that although our budget would be tight, we would make it work! We applied, and we got the house. Next, I needed to stop my temping work, which by this stage I was becoming very heavily pregnant and I was missing being home with my son so I handed in my notice. I would need to drive Carl to work every day, (45 min there, 45 min back). He had just gone for his learners licence which he passed, but he needs to drive with a full licenced driver in the car at all times. He has gone for some lessons, and hopefully will soon go for his test to get his green p’s so I do not have to take him to work every day.

So I stopped working, Carl started work and we moved into our new house. After we moved in there were a few teething issues with the house, which the first month or two were spent with different contractors coming and going to fix these issues, but all has settled down now, and we are settling in properly. I spent my days going to and from various doctors and specialists appointments. I had gestational diabetes which I struggled to control and was put on insulin, so this meant lots of appointments every week and all in Campbelltown. A fair drive from where we live. Timmy was in school 2 days a week, these were ‘my day’s off’. Then comes march, and little Elijah joins us. Read about his birth story here: Laboring Eli . If I thought life was hard with one, I was in for a shock when baby came along. I could handle the Baby who sleeps lots, feeds well and rarely cries. What I was not prepared for was Timmy’s stage he would soon start of back chatting and finding naughty ways of seeking extra attention. He has moments when he is just so beautiful, sweet and caring but then days when I want to hide in the cupboard with a bottle of wine and wait until its all over. Since the wine and cupboard are not an option, it’s lot’s of yelling, naughty corners and being put in his bedroom. Needless to say, days when he is at school are my favorite days of the week!! But recently I have started doing a “Me and Timmy day” when Carl is off I leave baby with him and I take Timmy out and we go to cafe’s, the park, reading time at the library. Basically anywhere. Its really nice to just have a bit of us Time again. He tends to behave really well on these outings.

When we first moved from England to Australia, we started potty training Timmy. It took a few months for him to start going by himself, but he did eventually. While we were living with family, he wasn’t interested much in potty training. We tried the stickers when he would wee and poo, we tried the kiddie seat on the toilet, we tried an actual potty, we even resorted to bribing with treats, bad I know! but a lot of the time he would not do it. It was when he started school, he started to want to do it by himself. I guess he saw other children using the toilet and was keen to copy them. Now he goes by himself and only needs help when he does a poo, we need to wipe his bum. Accidents are rare these days, and I find when he does an accident, its not an accident, its on purpose to get some attention.

So we are all adjusting to being a family of 4, Carl is really happy in his job and I have just enrolled myself to study a Diploma of Early Learning Childcare and Education. I was very undecided about what I wanted to do after having Timmy, but what sealed the deal was doing the temping reception/ admin work when I first got to OZ and I decided that was just too boring and mind numbing work. It was OK for a week or 2, but after that I hated it. So childcare is def where I want to start working when I enter the work force again. But for right now, I’m content with my newest little man, and my eldest little terror. They are challenging enough.

I have had a few social outings where I have met up with some friends, had some play dates with all their kiddies which has been really nice and refreshing. We have had a few family days out, to the Blue Mountains, Botanic Gardens and to Featherdale Wild Life Park. I visit the family once or twice a week to say hi and catch up, or just to annoy them. In a couple of weeks it is Timmy’s Birthday, so I am currently starting to plan his birthday party. He is into Thomas, and more currently Spider Man! So he wants a Spider Man cake and jumping Castle, but he wants Thomas decorations. I have asked a good friend to make Timmy’s spider-man cake. Timmy is very excited about his party. I took him shopping to help choose his decorations. I could not get a spider-man jumping castle, as it was too big for the yard, so we had to settle on a smaller cars themed one. That’s fine, does the same job!! I will be sure to write a post all about his party at a later stage. It is my first time organising a party! His first birthday was in Reading, England. I didn’t do a party, just met some mum friends in the park and had a picnic, and also Carl had a work function on his birthday, so we went to that! Then his second birthday we were on Sark again, he had a birthday party which I held at his preschool. I just had to send out some invites and arrange food, they set everything up and hosted it which was great! So this year will be my first time properly organizing and hosting a birthday party!

Timmy started swimming lessons last week, I was so proud of him. He got straight in and was absolutely loving it! I ran into a friend there also, who takes her little one for swimming lessons on the same day. So that that will be good to see her there next time. I have also plucked up the courage to try out a new playgroup. I have been twice now, Timmy really enjoys it, it’s not busy and its nice to have a girly mum chat about everything once a week. So now my days are pretty full all week now with lots of activities. I am finally finding a bit of a routine to my weeks, It is really nice.

So I think this is us all updated for now.

XX Life In A Mum Shell XX

 

 

Mother’s Day

This post comes a little late, but I have been very ill the past couple of weeks with the flu and also very busy. So here it is, better late then never!

Mother’s day will always be bitter sweet for me. My mother died when I was only 1 years old, leaving my dad to look after my older sister 3yrs, myself 1yrs, and my younger sister 2 months old.

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My Dad, me and my older sister

Growing up with one parent was confusing for me when I was younger. All my friends had a mum and dad, were all still together. I was the only one I knew with one parent. Mothers day at school was something I dreaded, I absolutely hated it. The teachers would give us mothers day cards to color in and decorate, which was always fine with me – I would give these to my dad. Then one year, the teacher gave me a different stencil to color in, I think it was a left over Christmas or Easter stencil instead and claimed I might prefer to do those instead. I was so embarrassed as all the other kids asked why I wasn’t doing mother’s day card’s like them. I had to tell them why. I think I was only in year one or 2, so i was fairly young but I remember it like it was yesterday.

Then the following year the teacher asked me if I would prefer to do something else instead of a Mother’s day card, I chose to do the card. I would give it to my dad of course! That’s when I decided Mothers day would be Mothers-fathers day. Dad did both roles, so why not celebrate mothers day with him. Over the years we made some awful breakfasts which we were super proud of and take it to him in bed with a coffee. We would give him awful gifts we had brought at the mother’s day stall at school… truly, they only had things like soap, pot purri, and everything was pink and frilly, or they had these little chocolate balls covered in coconut. They never catered for anyone in my situation. One year, I brought him a pair of pink ballerina plastic pot purri shoes, which to his credit, he hung on his wall in his bedroom for many years.

When I started the work force I hated and avoided talk of Mother’s day, when all the ladies gathered in the kitchen talking about there plans, I would excuse myself or avoid the gathering until the conversation had moved on to something else. I just did not want to be asked “what will you be doing for mother’s day” then having to make up something stupid like “oh, not much, just having a nice dinner” as that was easier then telling them my mother died when I was little and having to put up with the “oh, im so sorry” “oh it must be so hard for you” etc. It’s just awkward and weird.

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My Mum

So now I have grown up and  have my own family and I feel extremely blessed that I get to celebrate mother’s day with my 2 boys. Mother’s day is now not a day I want to hurry up and pass, but a day I can now participate in and give it new meaning. Mother’s day will always be a little sad for me, as it is a reminder of the mother I have lost and who I can never celebrate mother’s day with – even though I do not remember her or never got to know her. I will always wonder what her voice sounded like, what her favorite color was,  her favorite food, song or perfume ect which will always be unanswered, and I hope I am around long enough for my children not to ever have to wonder anything about me. I can never tell my mum I love her, give her a hug, share girly chats or to have a special bond. But I have photos of her which will remain very special and I don’t take being a mum for granted, it is a true gift, one I am living that my mother didn’t get to, which makes me very sad for her. I appreciate being a mum so much more I think as I did not grow up with one. And it is only now I can truly appreciate what my dad had to go through raising us. I have 2 children and a partner and find it tough at times, I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like raising 3 young girls as a single parent and needing to work full time. It takes a special kinda person.

So this past mother’s day I had a lovely day which I celebrated with my 2 children, my sister, step brother and step mother. We had a lovely lunch, where I even treated myself to a glass of bubbly. I feel so blessed I am lucky enough to be a mum, and that my dad who much later in life found someone to take on and step up in the role of looking after not only her own 2 children but taking on 3 others. Even though we were much older by this stage, it was not easy going for many years. But we all finally found our way and now we have another reason to be grateful on mother’s day!

XX Life In A Mum Shell XX

A Rough Day….

They don’t give you qualifications for being a parent, it would be impossible to complete all the modules needed in a lifetime, there is no training, no preparation for the door you walk through into parenthood. There is nothing in the world that will give you such highs and lows as parenting. Yet I wouldn’t change a thing. One minute I’m in awe of my eldest, who to me is still my baby. He can be such a gentle soul, sweet, caring and loving. But then he turns 360 and is just impossible to deal with, there is just no negotiating with him! Today was a constant stream of pushing my buttons – it was a rough day to say the least! Its days like today, I think how on earth did my dad manage with 3 girls entirely on his own? He is still alive, were all still alive….he did well!

Next month my son turns 3 (forget terrible two’s, they were a breeze….the closer we get to the 3’s I’m starting to get scared!) I’m a full-time stay at home mum and today I wish i had a job that wasn’t being at home. Today, I don’t want to be at home. I’m tired, I want to sleep for 7 days straight un-interrupted. I’m sore – I’m a full-time milking machine to Elijah, i constantly smell of stale milk and today you can add vomit and wee to the mix. I have snot stains on my shirt from Timmy who uses my shirt as a tissue. My son is walking around the house with no pants on as after insisting he did not need a wee, pissed himself and refused to put clean clothes on. I have not brushed my teeth or my hair and I’m wearing yesterdays clothes which i slept in last night as i was too tired to get changed. I have thrown on my dressing gown instead of a nice jumper as it will only become the vomit catcher and snot wiper along with any other muck my son joyfully wipes on me.

Today is a battle with Timmy over everything, breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, the swing at the park, bath time, when and how often Elijah needs feeding – then  proceeds to climb all over me and yell in my ear as I’m trying to feed his brother, he insists on helping with hanging out the washing, where most of the clothes end up on the grass, or he sits on the basket!

Today is one of those days when i really would love a glass of wine (damn breast-feeding!) I need to switch of from all things children for an hour or so… today was hard. It is nice to have this blog and just throw out my frustrations out there and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day, and here’s hoping it will be a better day.

My son is now peacefully asleep, I love watching him sleep and I once again promise ill try to be more patient and do less yelling tomorrow. High five to all you parents that have survived a rough day, it makes you appreciate the good days so much more!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx