So here’s to another week gone by, this is what I got up to last week!
Monday – Was a really nice day, did some washing in the morning, Timmy is in school, Carl is at work. My dad came by and we went out to lunch at a local pub. I had an AMAZING salad. I even treated myself to a little glass of wine. In the middle of the day!. why not? It was nice, me and dad got to catch up and chat away, we didn’t even realise we had been there for over 3 hours! It was close to 4pm by the time we left.
Tuesday – Timmy wanted a chill out day, so that’s what we did. Nothing exciting, just pottered around the house doing general house stuff. Timmy watched a bunch of TV and played games on my phone, this is now his new thing playing games on our phones. We went for our usual afternoon walk around the block. It only takes 20 minutes but it’s nice to get out of the house on day’s like this!
Wednesday – Carls day off. Was a busy one for me, I needed to go to the library and get some study done so I did that in the morning while Carl looked after the kiddies for a couple of hours. Came home and Timmy helped me wash the car, it wasn’t until the next day I realised what a bad job we had done… so will need doing again very soon! I rode my exercise bike, not for very long with Timmy around, but still managed to get some exercise done. Did another walk around the block with the kiddies while Carl went for his driving lesson. He booked his driving test for next week! Fingers crossed he passes, I can not wait for him to get his licence.
Thursday – Carl had appointments in Wollongong to get done for his visa, so we went there for the day. Before his appointments we went for lunch by the water at Bombora Seafood Restaurant. As I wasn’t allowed to wait for him in the waiting room, I waited in a nearby café and fed Timmy chocolates to keep him occupied while I had a coffee.
Friday – Timmy is in school, It was time for Elijah to get his 4month immunisation needles, so I had him booked in, I had myself also booked in for an appointment and my sister needed to see a doctor also. So was a long morning spent at the doctors. I worked on my blog post, got a post sent out about the Parental Stress Centre. And spent a lot of time online doing research, and studies stuff. I am currently studying a diploma in Childcare. Picked up Timmy from school and went around my dad’s house for a quick visit. Elijah is grumpy and not happy since getting his immunisations earlier, So not the most exciting Friday!
Saturday – Dropped kiddies off round Grandma’s for an hour or so while I went and got waxed. I had not had this done since before Elijah was born, so I was well over due! I will NOT be going back to ‘ Perfection nail & beauty clinic’ in Tahmoor. I have been there 2x before and they were OK, nothing special. However this time was different. Besides no one else being in their, I was made to wait 40 minutes before being shown a room, then made to wait another 10 minutes in the room! Then the lady waxed off half of my eyebrow. Seriously!. I now need to cover up with an eye pencil. They tried to tell me it was like that before I went in there! I think I would realise if I was missing half an eye brow. Then went home and Spent the rest of the day at home again, doing house work and playing with the kids. Timmy is getting really good these days at driving his truck around the backyard, he can now steer properly and goes really fast, little hoon!! It is super cute watching him.
Sunday – Its my 34th birthday! I woke up to Timmy opening my presents for me. I got some beautiful flowers from Carl and the kids and a couple of books, which I am looking forward to reading. I then went to lunch with the family at a local club. Was a nice day. Went back to my dad’s house where they did a cake and sang the worst rendition of “happy birthday” I have ever heard! Very funny! Then at night Carl came home at a decent time and we had pizza and a glass of bubbles. So a good finish to the day!
breakfast in bed on my birthday
my beautiful flowers
So That sums up my week. Did any of you get up to anything exciting?
So those of you that follow me on my Social media accounts such as my Facebook Page will know that 2 weeks ago I had a Mummy Meltdown. Let me give you the back story so you will understand how I got to that point.
I gave birth to Elijah back in March and since bringing him home I have been feeling very anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and feeling I am not coping on a day to day basis. Elijah is now 3 1/2 months old. Before I had Elijah I was a lot more in control, and I felt like I could handle Timmy most of the time. There were rare occasions where I would have a bad day, but these were far and few between! I guess the timing of Timmy turning 3 just after giving birth to Elijah hasn’t helped. He has turned into a little Threenanger. This is a serious thing, forget terrible two’s they were a breeze, but once they hit 3, WOW! So trying to cope with his outbursts and tantrums while managing a new born baby has not been easy to say the least. Every day I suffer from major mummy guilt over trying to give Timmy the attention he needs and trying to breast feed Elijah and change a thousand nappies a day. I forgot how much stuff comes out of such a little human being! Every day for the past 3 1/2 months I have been feeling guilt ridden, felt like I am not coping, feel like I should be able to do all the washing, keep a clean house, give enough attention to both children, cook dinner, and make them healthy and something every one would like. I would be lucky if I got through a load or two of washing, and that doesn’t include putting it away! No one else was putting this pressure on me, but me! I feel like every day I should be an octopus with 8 arms. My expectations are way too high, on myself and on Timmy. He is 3. Yes, he is naughty, cheeky and testing. I feel I should be able to handle this, and honestly I have not been able to. Every night when I put him to bed, I promise tomorrow will be better and I will be a better mum who doesn’t loose her temper and who is more patient and understanding, but then the next day is just as it was the day before. The stress had just got too much and I am fearful it is turning into depression, if it has not already. I feel like I have no control and it does not help when well meaning family tell me i’m not doing things right, or I should be doing more of this or that. I don’t think social media has helped much either, with people only posting the most amazing pictures and stories of clean houses, kids playing incredibly well, outings where kids behave, home cooked meals from scratch. That is why for me, posting as honestly as I can about my struggles and my reality is important. Whether it be on my blog, instagram, fb or twitter. You will always see pictures of a messy house, my imperfect arts and crafts or cooking attempts and basically the reality which is life. Of course there are days which do go wonderful, and I go to bed feeling like the best mum in the world, however of late these are less and less. which seems to be my problem
Enter the Parental Stress Centre. In the midst of my mummy meltdown, telling my 3 year old son I couldn’t take anymore, I didn’t want to be a mummy anymore and I was going to go to work instead, an ad popped up on my facebook feed. The weirdest thing is, I never looked them up, I was not seeking outside help, it just randomly popped up on my face book computer screen at what could only be described as the exact moment I needed it to. I am the biggest skeptic out there, and I never click on these facebook ADS, but curiosity got me and I was at my wits ends so I clicked on the AD, what did I have to loose?. It was the best decision I made! Reading about there programs, how they can help, what they offer….I thought perhaps this might just be what I need. So I registered! I signed up for their 28 day program, find my calm challenge. We are currently on day 11, and I can honestly say this is EXACTLY what I needed! I love the live Q&A once a week with Jackie Hall. She explains everything so well, clearly and everything makes sense and i’m always left wondering why I did not know this before, or how did I not see this or understand this earlier?
Every day they send you an email in the morning, which comes with an audio version also. I prefer to listen to the Audio version then reading, I find I absorb what is being said better and each day it will cover a new topic such as ‘Understanding your Toddler’. I love waking up to these, especially after a bad night with Elijah being up and attached all night and i wake up feeling tired and irritated before the day has even began. Then at the end of the lesson they give you home work, these are tasks they ask you to do, which you do not send in, there just extra to help in your understanding and to help put the lesson into practice. You can choose to do them or not, they are up to you. I do them when I can. The past few days I have not had a chance. Things have been a little hectic, so ill open the email and listen to the audio version if I’m busy and don’t have time to sit and read, ill put the audio on while washing up or cooking or breast feeding and listen to it that way! Honestly, everything they say makes so much sense, and the hardest part is getting myself to rethink and rearrange my old habits and stop myself conflicting against the reality of what is happening as apposed to my expectations of what should happen. It is so easy to get myself stressed and worked up. But then I just need to stop, think about what I have been told, how to handle it and try the best I can in the current situation. This is easier said then done, some days I can handle, others get the better of me, and I just give up! I am working on it.
They have a closed face book group which I LOVE because every single other person on there you can relate to! They are all strangers, and you can post your problems and they all post with advice or there personal story. It is such a relief and just feels really nice knowing your not the only one who struggles as a parent. Obviously you already know you are not the only person which struggles as a parent, however some days can feel isolating, even if you have close friends, family and your partner/husband/wife ect around you, you can still manage to feel very alone with your problems.
I have had friends and family message me offering me advice and reassuring me I am doing a great job and I am not alone in how I am feeling, they assure me “we have all been there”. I truly appreciate these messages of support. Carl has been great, booking me a night away so I could take some time off. Much needed. I think Carl puts up with a lot, most night he comes home after working all day to a messy house, no dinner cooked and Timmy still awake as he refuses to go to bed for me! But when he walks through those doors, it is like a wave of relief, I have help, I have a team member who can step in so I can breathe. I feel happy, relieved and guilty all at the same time. I think I have let the stress and pressure every day get to me for too long and it is now weighing too heavy so this is why I decided to sign up to this program. Honestly, if there are any parents out there struggling and you feel you need help, you must look them up! They offer other programs besides the one I am doing. Its only day 11, and I have a long way to go, the program I am on is 28 days, but what I have learnt so far has been eye opening. I am really happy I chose to click on that AD when I did. I have a lot of self work to do, but I am looking forward to it and hopefully I will improve my every day outlook on life! I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress and let you know my final thoughts at the end of the program.
If you feel you need extra help or are feeling stressed or struggling to cope, please look them up! parentalstress.com.au I highly recommend them!
XX Candice XX
PLEASE NOTE: I have not been asked to write this post or in no way has this post been endorsed, paid or otherwise. This is purely my experience using this service. I love sharing useful and helpful tips when ever I come across them!
So here I am about to write a weekly post about my comings and goings during the week. I often read other people’s post about what they got up to throughout the week and I love reading them. So this inspired me to write my own. I hope to get this out weekly and would love to hear your thoughts and comments! here’s my first post!
So as it is Sunday now, I will start my week from Sunday. Basically, Sunday set the tone for the rest of my week anyway, so it really is the best place to start my week!
Sunday – I had a bright idea to take my 3 year old son and 3 month old baby to the movies to watch cars 3 on my own! In the school holidays! Now, I know what your thinking, I must be crazy. Yes, yes I am! Had I of had seen 3 hours into the future, I can tell you I would not have even attempted this! But, as I did I need to tell you my story!
So we get to the movies, I’m lining to to buy a ticket when a lady taps me on the shoulder to inform me my baby has just vomited all over my shoulder and down my back! GREAT! I get the tickets then line up for food, I get some pop corn, a packet of M&M’s and a lollipop for Timmy. It is all going smoothly, he is listening to my instructions and i’m feeling hopeful and proud i’m attempting this adventure. We sit down in the middle of an isle, I sort him out with food and a drink and he is sitting happily eating away. baby has been fed and is sleeping in my arms. It is busy, and we get blocked in either end by people. The movie starts, all is good for about 20 minutes before the M&M’s run out, he is out of his seat trying to grab the girls next to his food and drink, annoying the lady in front who kept giving me death stares. This went on for 45 minutes before I got up and left, followed by Timmy screaming at the top of his lungs, we were in the foyer of the movies and people everywhere when Timmy decided to sit on the floor arms and legs going full on screaming because we were leaving! It took me 20 minutes to get him in the car, lucky me had 2 men sitting in the car next to us watching the whole episode. I got home, fed baby decided to get fresh air we would go for a walk. Was really nice, came home and it was one thing after another again, screaming, constant telling me no, the back chatting on and on until I broke down in tears in front of my son and told him I did not want to be a mummy anymore and I was going to work as I cant deal with him! In the midst of this breakdown, up popped an ad on my FB news feed about the Parental Stress Center. I normally ignore these, but my gut instinct told me I needed outside help, and I clicked. I joined and have never looked back. I will do a post all about this very soon! But was absolutely the right decision to join. Carl got home to find me a crying mess and started picking up the peaces. We decided it was a good idea for me to take a break so we booked me a hotel down the south coast for a night on Wednesday where I could order room service, have a bath and just chill out. So looking forward to that, obviously I would still have Elijah as he is still being breast fed!
Monday – Timmy is in school and Carl is at work, after dropping both off, I got myself a coffee at Mac cafe, went home and decided I was going to chill out in bed all day, work on my blogs, do some more study, perhaps even get a bit of reading done myself! I made a cup of tea, chucked on a load of laundry then and set up in bed with Elijah. Not even 30 minutes later the phone rings, it is Timmy’s school, could I come collect him as he has a red cheek and they suspect it may be the viral infection slap cheek! FUCKING GREAT!! There goes my day, and nothing yet accomplished! Spent the afternoon at the doctors and was told it was not slap cheek, he may just be getting a cold and yes he did come down with a cold on Wednesday! JOY!
Tuesday – I took the opportunity to get out of the house, as the school holidays are on and there is no swimming lessons today a couple of friends suggested a meet up! Great idea, much needed. Let the kids play(or fight!) and the mums can chat over coffee. Just what I needed! Timmy loves going around our friend Annie’s house, lots of toys, plenty of room to run and play, plus she has swings and slides! It’s like going to a park and a friends house rolled into one 🙂 win win!
Wednesday – So Carl is off and its my day to head down the coast for a day/night away. I felt guilty as Timmy woke up not well, but Carl convinced me to still go. I cried for a good 40 minutes in the car, a mixture of feelings going on! Mum Guilt over everything basically. I’m really hard on myself, I tell myself I should be able to look after the kids, keep a clean house, have all meals freshly prepared and keep it all together! I understand this is not realistic, and I’m yet to meet a mum who can do all this. I am working on this daily through the Parental Stress Center. So I drive down to Gerringong and stay at the Mecure Hotel. I end up with an upgrade and love my room. I usually stay in Mecure Hotel’s where ever I go, I have always had such a great experience with them, this time was no different! So, I check in, then drive to the main part of Gerringong, go for lunch, do some shopping then head back to the hotel and basically chilled! Got some snacks, veged out, watched TV and just tried to switch off as much as possible.
I ordered room service and had a nice bubble bath. I had Elijah with me so I wasn’t totally of duty, but I didn’t have the constant…”Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!” which some days that’s enough to drive me crazy alone! So all in all a lovely night away, and I felt it was much earned and needed!
Thursday – Carl took Timmy to Sydney to the Aquarium and to meet up with a couple of his friends. So I woke up, had breakfast at the hotel and as Carl and Timmy were not home I had plenty of time to kill and not rush back home. I checked out of the hotel, went for a coffee, I found an amazing little cafe, the staff were incredibly nice and personable and the views were amazing!
I did a little more shopping, spent far too much money so now ive replaced Mummy guilt with Money guilt…great!!
After some lunch I headed back home and lucky me came home to a nice clean house thank you Carl!!
Friday – Timmy was in school, Carl at work. I headed into Campbelltown with my younger sister to take her to an appointment, and me to do some shopping. Once again, spending too much money. After, my sister shouted me lunch at a restaurant called Grilled…its in Macarthure Square, for all my local friends who are reading this, if you have not been there before, please do, its amazing. I had the Baa-Baa burger. Seriously yummy! Not too expensive either. Healthy options and healthy buns ect. Def worth it after a hard days shopping 🙂
Saturday – Went groceries shopping, had a coffee, went to the local markets which is great. Did washing, just an average day really!
Sunday – More washing ect, just a day at home. Chill out day. Nothing much to report. Was a difficult day with Timmy again, He made ALOT of mess and refused to clean it up. We butted heads for about 3 hours….it was stressful and awful! He was being really naughty saying some awful things such as “mummy cant do anything right!” and also “i want you dead, boom your killed!” was just awful. I honestly have not come across this behavior from him before and I was in shock and really upset! But when i told him what he said was not very nice and hurt mummy’s heart, he turned into the sweet caring boy i know and said ” I will go get you a heart and make it all better and make you happy again” followed by a big cuddle and kiss. How can you be upset after that?! As Carl tried to tell me, he is a parrot and repeats anything he will hear….I do understand this but it is still hard to hear and hard not to take personal! I’m working on this!
Ok, so this post is going out a little late, sorry! I started it Sunday, it is now Tuesday. Days just dissapear when you have children! before I know it I will be writing this weeks post! well I hope you all had a smoother week then me!
My Son’s Favorite book at the moment is The Gruffalo. I must say I really enjoy reading this book. The first time I had ever heard of the Gruffalo was in 2014, after I had Timmy. I went to a soft play with My partners mother, and on the wall was painted a huge picture of this ugly cartoon character. I asked, “What is that?“. She looked at me shocked, how had I never heard of The Gruffalo? Well, I soon learnt very quickly what it is. I absolutely love it! That year I got to watch the cartoon as it was on Christmas day, which It reads just like the book. It is the cutest cartoon, and very very clever!
If you have never heard of The Gruffalo, you need to read the book and or watch the cartoon! The book is about a little mouse who walks through the deep dark woods, he comes across various animals who wish to eat him but he manages to get out of each situation by saying he is meeting a “Gruffalo”. He describes a bit of the Gruffalo, Such as he has Terrible Claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws and then mentions what The Gruffalo’s favorite food is, such as when he comes across a snake, he says the Gruffalo’s favorite food is scrambled snake. The snake gets scared and scampers off. The mouse says, “Silly snake doesn’t he know there’s no such thing as a Gruffalo!” This continues until he comes across The Gruffalo, with all the exact same features as what he describes through the book. The Gruffalo wants to eat the mouse, but the mouse convinces him hes the scariest mouse in the woods. So they walk through the woods and come across all the creatures again, each one see’s the Gruffalo and scuttles off, the Gruffalo is convinced they are scared of the mouse, so the mouse says he is hungry and his favorite food is Gruffalo crumble, at which scares the Gruffalo and he scampers off leaving the mouse to enjoy a nut in peace. The book is very easy reading, and Timmy loves finishing my sentences while we are reading.
We also have the follow up book “The Gruffalo’s Child” which is just as delightful and easy reading as The Gruffalo. There is a cartoon version of the book also which is another joy to watch. This version tells of the Gruffalo’s child who should not go into the deep dark woods as if he does the big bad mouse will be after you. The child does not listen, is brave and ventures out into the woods. He comes across all the same lovely characters as in The Gruffalo. Each character says the mouse is close by eating Gruffalo cake ect… until finally he comes across the mouse who doesn’t seem scary at all and thinks he would like to eat him, until the mouse tells him he has a friend who he needs to meet and describes him in a scary way, then moves into the moonlight where a big silhouette shadow of the mouse comes across the snowy floor and scares the Gruffalo’s child back home. Seriously, how could you not love these books?
If you have read these books, what are your thoughts on them. Please share them with me and I would love to know what books are currently your and your child’s favorites!
It has been 5 month’s since my last update on how we are all settling into OZ. So it’s about time I filled you all in as I get asked all the time how we are going over here, and a lot has changed since my last update living in oz, 3 month update so read on to find out.
So as soon as Carl was not on his Tourist Visa and got put on his Bridging visa, he started looking for work. He spoke with a few recruitment agencies and had a couple of job interviews before finally landing a job. When he started looking for work, we had 2 options. He could find work in the city, which meant a move closer that way and the travel by train every day, or we could look down south and try find a place to live down there. He found a job down south he liked with decent pay where he could support us all while I’m off work with the children and with decent hours so we would be seeing more of him. So south it was, he accepted the job and it was time for us to find a house to move into. We looked close to where he was working, but they were great let downs, you could not have paid me to live in any of them. Plus there was not a great selection or options available. So we decided to look around the area my family live in, it would mean a 45 minute commute to work for Carl every day though. We looked at a few houses, but none me and Carl could agree on, until the real estate agent convinced us to look at one property, which was a good $50PW over our budget. We are glad he did, as it was perfect. Carl was sold before he even walked in the door! We agree’d that although our budget would be tight, we would make it work! We applied, and we got the house. Next, I needed to stop my temping work, which by this stage I was becoming very heavily pregnant and I was missing being home with my son so I handed in my notice. I would need to drive Carl to work every day, (45 min there, 45 min back). He had just gone for his learners licence which he passed, but he needs to drive with a full licenced driver in the car at all times. He has gone for some lessons, and hopefully will soon go for his test to get his green p’s so I do not have to take him to work every day.
So I stopped working, Carl started work and we moved into our new house. After we moved in there were a few teething issues with the house, which the first month or two were spent with different contractors coming and going to fix these issues, but all has settled down now, and we are settling in properly. I spent my days going to and from various doctors and specialists appointments. I had gestational diabetes which I struggled to control and was put on insulin, so this meant lots of appointments every week and all in Campbelltown. A fair drive from where we live. Timmy was in school 2 days a week, these were ‘my day’s off’. Then comes march, and little Elijah joins us. Read about his birth story here: Laboring Eli . If I thought life was hard with one, I was in for a shock when baby came along. I could handle the Baby who sleeps lots, feeds well and rarely cries. What I was not prepared for was Timmy’s stage he would soon start of back chatting and finding naughty ways of seeking extra attention. He has moments when he is just so beautiful, sweet and caring but then days when I want to hide in the cupboard with a bottle of wine and wait until its all over. Since the wine and cupboard are not an option, it’s lot’s of yelling, naughty corners and being put in his bedroom. Needless to say, days when he is at school are my favorite days of the week!! But recently I have started doing a “Me and Timmy day” when Carl is off I leave baby with him and I take Timmy out and we go to cafe’s, the park, reading time at the library. Basically anywhere. Its really nice to just have a bit of us Time again. He tends to behave really well on these outings.
When we first moved from England to Australia, we started potty training Timmy. It took a few months for him to start going by himself, but he did eventually. While we were living with family, he wasn’t interested much in potty training. We tried the stickers when he would wee and poo, we tried the kiddie seat on the toilet, we tried an actual potty, we even resorted to bribing with treats, bad I know! but a lot of the time he would not do it. It was when he started school, he started to want to do it by himself. I guess he saw other children using the toilet and was keen to copy them. Now he goes by himself and only needs help when he does a poo, we need to wipe his bum. Accidents are rare these days, and I find when he does an accident, its not an accident, its on purpose to get some attention.
So we are all adjusting to being a family of 4, Carl is really happy in his job and I have just enrolled myself to study a Diploma of Early Learning Childcare and Education. I was very undecided about what I wanted to do after having Timmy, but what sealed the deal was doing the temping reception/ admin work when I first got to OZ and I decided that was just too boring and mind numbing work. It was OK for a week or 2, but after that I hated it. So childcare is def where I want to start working when I enter the work force again. But for right now, I’m content with my newest little man, and my eldest little terror. They are challenging enough.
I have had a few social outings where I have met up with some friends, had some play dates with all their kiddies which has been really nice and refreshing. We have had a few family days out, to the Blue Mountains, Botanic Gardens and to Featherdale Wild Life Park. I visit the family once or twice a week to say hi and catch up, or just to annoy them. In a couple of weeks it is Timmy’s Birthday, so I am currently starting to plan his birthday party. He is into Thomas, and more currently Spider Man! So he wants a Spider Man cake and jumping Castle, but he wants Thomas decorations. I have asked a good friend to make Timmy’s spider-man cake. Timmy is very excited about his party. I took him shopping to help choose his decorations. I could not get a spider-man jumping castle, as it was too big for the yard, so we had to settle on a smaller cars themed one. That’s fine, does the same job!! I will be sure to write a post all about his party at a later stage. It is my first time organising a party! His first birthday was in Reading, England. I didn’t do a party, just met some mum friends in the park and had a picnic, and also Carl had a work function on his birthday, so we went to that! Then his second birthday we were on Sark again, he had a birthday party which I held at his preschool. I just had to send out some invites and arrange food, they set everything up and hosted it which was great! So this year will be my first time properly organizing and hosting a birthday party!
Timmy started swimming lessons last week, I was so proud of him. He got straight in and was absolutely loving it! I ran into a friend there also, who takes her little one for swimming lessons on the same day. So that that will be good to see her there next time. I have also plucked up the courage to try out a new playgroup. I have been twice now, Timmy really enjoys it, it’s not busy and its nice to have a girly mum chat about everything once a week. So now my days are pretty full all week now with lots of activities. I am finally finding a bit of a routine to my weeks, It is really nice.