Me Time

I love my child more than words describe, but there are times I need a damn break from him! Not only for my own sanity but for his also. It does him and me good! when Timmy was first born, I struggled with this idea, “Does this mean I don’t love him?” “Am I a bad mum for needing time away from my baby?” well, no! its actually the opposite, taking some much needed me time ensures your the best mum you can be. If its only to catch up on some much needed rest, or to sit and relax without interruption. My partner would come home and say he was taking the baby out for a walk and I should get some rest. I felt guilty at the time for sleeping while he looked after the baby, but it was the best thing for me, even if I didn’t realise it at the time.

When I was a full time stay at home mum trying to find “me time” I tried doing things I would do before baby came along such as going out to lunch with friends or out to dinner with my partner or family to get me and baby out of the house, but having baby with me was hard. He seemed to know when it was mummy’s feeding time, and on queue would scream the whole place down. So not a lot of conversation or eating took place. When me and carl would try to go for dinner we would need to play tag, one would hurriedly eat while the other walked around trying to calm baby down, then switch. Not very romantic or quality time spent, and more was stressful than anything.

I soon figured out how to fit in some “me time” around my baby. After 4 months he started getting into a routine, regular sleeping patterns and naps, so I used this time to my advantage! Before it was spent cleaning, sterilizing, pumping, eating ect  so usually during the day time naps this is when I would catch up on some much needed sleep or I would sit down and eat…. such a luxury not to be interrupted these days! Or sit and watch some trashy day time TV or read a book and just switch of for an hour or so. I came to love Timmy’s naps times, I used to hate them, as I would be rushing around trying to get as much other stuff done as possible and never get a chance to sit as Timmy would be awake before I knew it. But once I decided no more housework during nap times and just make it my chill out time, the difference it made to my whole day was incredible. Sitting down with a packet of biscuits (I say a packet, as the reality is, I never ate just one, The whole packet would be gone!) a cup of tea and watching day time TV is pure luxury.

Of course there were days I never got my “me time” as Timmy refused to sleep which left both him and me cranky and in a state. But on these bad days the one thing that got me through was knowing that bed time was at 7pm, by 7.15pm I would be in a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine, a good book and candles when I felt like really indulging! now this was pure bliss. It became my nightly ritual, so much so, carl would come home and say “hello, are you in the bath again?” yes, I was! he would often top up my wine glass for me if I finished it before I was ready to get out of the bath, now that’s love! These moments were huge in saving my sanity. The little things became the most important things, and things I used to take for granted, were now things I needed and really appreciated.

These days I take any opportunity to find “me time”. Its been great having Carl of as he hasn’t been able to work for 3 months due to his visa process. I haven’t needed to worry about as much and when I’m tired I can take my naps during the day while carl can look after Timmy, I can actually get sleep ins when I’m not working and its been nice sharing the work load. Carl help’s do dinner times and other odd jobs that need doing. I know very soon Carl will be back at work, and ill be a full time mummy to Timmy and the new little one again trying to fit in “me time” again into the little gaps I have possible. So while Carl has been of, I have used this to my advantage, without the guilt. So, excuse me while I go open a packet of Tim Tams, make a tea and relax with a book!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

Miscarriages and Molar pregnancies

When i look at my first son its hard to believe i created him, a real tiny little human growing and living. The miracle which he is still isn’t lost on me. previously in Australia after trying non successfully for 3 years plus with a previous partner i was told by an Australian IVF specialist that my eggs were no good, and the chances of me falling pregnant were unlikely. In the event i should fall pregnant it would most likely end in miscarriage. I was devastated, i went through a round of IVF, for it to fail. My relationship was at best rocky by this point, so looking back, its a good thing, but at the time i didn’t think so. I packed up my life in Australia and moved to Sark. That is where i met my current partner. I had told him about my life and no kids ect so we were not trying yet we were not being careful, thinking we were safe anyways! well 7 months later… i found out i was pregnant. My period was late, but that was nothing unusual to me as it was always out of sorts and since going through IVF sometimes i didn’t get a period and other times i would get 2 in a month. But i felt different somehow and decided to take a test just to rule it out, i was so unfazed that the result would be negative that i had made a cup of tea sat down, forgot all about the test until hours later when i went to the bathroom and got the shock of my life! BUT i knew there was a good chance it wouldn’t last, so i decided to tell Carl, and i’m ashamed to admit this, via text message!!! I was so scared of his reaction, but he called me straight back calmed me down and reassured me no matter what he would be there and he wasn’t going anywhere. He always has this way of making everything OK when i’m an absolute mess.So, As you know i had Timothy, the pregnancy was amazing (besides those first 3 months, and a bleeding scare), straight forward no complications and a straight forward delivery. I couldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Moving on to 6 months later after swearing there would be no more, me and Carl decide lets just stop being careful and see what happens. As far as were concerned Timmy is our little surprise miracle. If we don’t have another, were perfectly fine with only 1. So, Just after Timmy’s first birthday i found out i was pregnant, great, excited…. but it wasn’t to last i miscarried very very early on at 5 weeks. I think they call that a chemical pregnancy. So we decided not to dwell we looked at it as a late period, moved on as we had been.Then 3 months later again found out i was pregnant. This time it was a whole other ball game. The moment i fell pregnant i was severely sick, tired, couldn’t eat, couldn’t even prepare Timmy’s food, the look the smell everything had me turning green. I couldn’t stand up for long, i would get hot and want to pass out. I very nearly did in a shopping center a couple of times. There were days i couldn’t get of the sofa, i laid there all day while Timmy amused himself, i only rose to throw up or change him or prepare a very basic lunch. But i had all the normal symptoms, sore big breasts, swollen belly and bloated, no bleeding. I had read somewhere the stronger the symptoms the stronger the pregnancy. Well, i now know this to be a load of crap!  We went for the 13th week scan, were the lady had told us there was no heart beat…this was not what we were expecting at all! devastated was not the word we would use to describe how we felt. That same day i had to go see a specialist who had told us i had a partial molar or a molar pregnancy. This is where the sperm penetrates a hollow egg, or where there are 2 sperm penetrate 1 egg. The pregnancy continues as though it was a real one, creating more cells, giving of all the pregnancy symptoms, yet its only cells growing, not a baby. In these cases the pregnancy symptoms are severe. that explains it. I even had milk leaking from my breasts.

So we had to digest this new information, and then tell family. They only knew i was pregnant because when i was really bad, i needed help looking after Timothy. So Carl’s family saved us and came took Timothy to stay with them while i had to have an operation to have the  “Cells” removed, sent of and tested to see if it was a molar or partial molar and to watch if they cells grow. I thought they took it all out and that was the end of it. But it wasn’t that easy. Boxing day, were in Bristol at Carl’s family’s house with visitors and i start bleeding really bad and having contraction cramps. I was so scared, we had a ambulance come out who said this can be common. So the cramps subsided. once i got home, it was daily contraction cramps and a lot of bleeding so i went straight to the hospital where they did a scan to reveal they hadn’t got it all out, it was all basically still in there…they said i could do the operation again or wait for my body to pass it naturally. I opted not to have the operation. It wasn’t nice, another couple days of cramps and severe bleeding led me to pass the cells, which were very large by this point. But the moment i passed it the cramps stopped, the bleeding pretty much stopped and went to spotting. But it was still 3 months following this i had to have weekly blood tests, urine tests to see if my hormone levels returned to normal. If they didn’t it would mean the cells have started growing elsewhere and i would need chemo treatment to kill them, as they are not cancer, but they act like cancer cells and can duplicate elsewhere in the body. I was lucky, it took a while but eventually they did return to normal, no chemo needed and i was given the all clear to go ahead and try again if we wanted.

Carl had said he wasn’t sure he could go through that again, it was really tough on him.But my theory was, firstly i have a tougher skin due to my IVF earlier ect, I don’t want to look back in 10 years and say… what if? I would live to regret that, and regret isn’t something i like. So i explained to him i would rather continue on, should we never have anymore, then at least i know we can say, we tried and it wasn’t meant to be. I would be OK with this. What if we didn’t try, we would never know and always wonder what if?. This would leave me uncomfortable and i would regret that. So after a while he decided OK, lets just continue as we had been. what will be will be.

A year later i am now 6 months pregnant with another healthy baby. Imagine if we hadn’t of tried? So as you can see, my journey to having my babies hasn’t been easy or straight forward, but everything happens for a reason and i feel so blessed and lucky. My little miracles they will always be.

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

living in oz, 3 month update

So we have been in oz for almost 3 months now. I decided it was time to give an update. relocating from the UK to oz has been a pretty big adjustment. least of all for me, but more so for Timmy and Carl.

So we moved back to oz early October, and have been living with family which was very nice of them to let us stay with them. There have been big adjustments on both sides with this new living arrangement. So my family live in an area that if you don’t have a car or don’t drive, your literally up shit creek without a paddle. Luckily, i have a licence and my family brought a third car before we moved out here, so this is my life line! Since moving out here I’ve managed to get some work through a temping agency doing some admin/reception work which I’m very grateful for, not only does it give us an income so we are not using our savings, it also gets me out of the house and is doing me a world of good. i go stir crazy if I’m stuck at home for too long.

I think Carl is finding it the biggest adjustment of all. Not only has he moved to the other side of the world far away from his family, friends and everything that is familiar to him, due to his visa process he hasn’t been able to work for the first 3 months while in oz. So he has had to be the stay at home dad, which it took a while for him to settle into, but i think he has found his rhythm now, but i know he can not wait to get back to work! its been extra hard for him, he has his learners licence, but no car and hasn’t been for lessons yet. so remember that creek i was telling you about, yep….hes up shit creek and no paddle. he stays home with Timmy most days which would drive anyone mad. especially when Timmy has a bad day and just wants to be a right little shit. Carl has had to adjust to living in a new house with my family….there are 7 adults and a toddler running around, its a busy household, little room for alone time or personal space. But he is doing good, and next month he is able o start work, so fingers crossed he finds something soon! it will do him the world of good.

Poor Timmy has had to also make adjustments, hes had me as the main person looking after him for 2 years, then had to get used to daddy being the main person, get used to a new house which comes with new people and new rules. Its a lot to ask of a child. But i think he is doing very well all things considered. Hes now had to sleep in our room, which there’s only room for a double bed and a blow up mattress on the floor. Its cramped to say the least but it is what it is and its only temporary. I’ve enrolled Timmy into preschool for next year for 2 days a week, which he will love. He desperately needs more children interaction.

Trying not to get under each others feet when you live with other people is almost impossible. If you have ever had to live with family or friends, you will most likely understand what I’m talking about. Every person has a different way of living, how they like things done and its almost impossible to slot into another’s routine. I know my family are being driven mad by us, 3 extra adults to feed, extra washing, a toddler running around, which comes with it’s own issues, constant mess, toys everywhere, smelly bins from nappy’s, waking up to Timmy watching Go Jetters, Hey Dugee, or baby jake on CeeBeeBies, the yelling and tantrums and things getting ‘misplaced’ or broken. Its stressful and hard for everyone involved with lives being cramped and adjustments being made by everyone.

So how will we manage when baby comes along? We don’t know, its literally impossible to fit a baby in the room with us, along with Timmy. We have really no option but to find Carl a job, find a place to rent before we have baby….only time will tell if this is going to be possible. As soon as Carl secures a job, we will be looking for somewhere to live. I think our family is ready to have us out now, and get back to their normal living routines, and i don’t blame them, taking us on was a big task and we greatly appreciate having a roof over our heads.

So like i said the car is our savior. when I’m not working, me Carl and Timmy love going out and exploring new places, parks, walks, picnics, play centers, shopping, visiting family. So that’s us 3 months in. A little limited in our options until Carl’s bridging visa kicks in next month. We are looking forward to the future and hopefully very soon being able to settle in on our own properly. We are going to have a very busy new years with  finding work, finding a place to live and a new baby on the way. Lots of new adventures and challenges ahead of us, but we say, bring it on 2017, were ready!!!!

xx life in a mum shell xx

 

 

A Routine and why it saved me!

Being a new mum I thought I knew what was coming, what to expect and anything that I didn’t know would come along with mum instinct right? Its a built in thing us lucky mums have that’s just there and will guide us when we get a bit lost….not exactly! I knew I was in for sleepless nights, lots of feeding, nappy changes, the crying, sterilizing and all of that. I understood my life was about to change for the better, but I thought I could still continue my life as much as possible as normal as possible and baby would have to fit in with my life. How wrong could I have been? I honestly had no idea how clueless I actually was until my son arrived. I would feed him, and only 30 minutes later he would be screaming, why is he crying? I’ve just fed you, perhaps I wasn’t feeding him enough? maybe he was just one of those demanding babies I’ve heard about? I had no idea when he should be sleeping or how long for, I just went along with when he slept some days it felt like he slept all day, others he barely slept. Being stuck at home all day with this tiny demanding little person, being extremely sleep deprived (trust me when I say until you have had a child, you really don’t know what sleep deprived is!) add to that the crazy hormones that make you laugh or cry uncontrollably, without any prompting whatsoever. The constant feeding, crying, sleeping or not sleeping, burping, changing, washing, sterilizing, there isn’t a lot of time for much else in your day in those early months. My partner would come home late at night and ask what I had eaten. I would have a think, surely I’ve eaten, but what…then it would hit me, I’ve not eaten a single thing all day! I’ve not had time to think about food, let alone prepare food. I hadn’t even realized I was hungry! It was around when my son was 2 1/2 months I posted to all my friends if there are any routines that they know of that works, or any advice they can suggest as I seriously was at my wits end. I couldn’t go on like this for much longer, it was really really hard. A lot harder then I had anticipated.

Then  a friend sent me a book that she swore saved her life, and I can tell you absolutely saved mine! I have since passed it on or recommended it to other mothers, who all say its worked amazing for them too and so glad I recommended it. I love sharing any helpful advice, tips and trick which can make life easier for everyone. If I have experienced it first hand and its worked for me, I’m more then happy to pass the secret along to everyone! by the way, this isn’t a promotional or paid post. I don’t do those. I just truly love this book!

The book is by Gina Ford its called “The Contented little baby”

newcontentedbaby

The day after I received the book, I started the routine. I was obsessed with it, I had it on my bedside table and read it before bed and first thing in the morning, it did not leave my sight. Ask my partner, he found it funny. But once he saw the difference it made to me and my son, he was glad I found the book!! talk about a baby falling straight into a routine, it truly couldn’t have been easier. Maybe I was lucky and my son is just a routine baby, but he slept when they suggested, he ate when it was suggested and was contented in between his feeds and at 4 months, he started sleeping right through the night. Kid you not. From 7am through until 7pm. it only took me one month of the routine to get him into this night sleeping habit, that’s the bit which truly made the difference, happy mummy! Feedings were making sense, and I really wish I had found this book earlier before as it would have helped a lot with breast feeding and all the confusion I had!

I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second child and I will be looking into her other book, “The contented baby with toddler” my first son is now 2 and a half and I have been worried about how I am going to cope with a toddler and a baby. As I now know how much attention both a new born baby and a toddler need, I’ve worried about how my son will adjust to a new baby. I have not read it yet, but I have put it on my Christmas wish list. I’m sure it will become my new obsession!

So this is my bit of advice for new mums or anyone who just is struggling, this book truly did wonders for me and my sanity. So that is my pearl of wisdom for new mothers. have a read!! If you have read this book, please share your thoughts and experiences with me, or any other books you know of that have worked for you or others. I love hearing all about them!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

 

Breastfeeding in public

There is so much pressure on women to breast feed, yet when out in public, no matter how discreet it is almost shamed upon when a mother needs to feed her hungry child, getting dirty looks, awful comments, almost as though they should have hidden in a bathroom to feed there baby. Its ridiculous! I don’t understand why it is ok to see celebrities posing in almost naked pictures, posting selfies on the internet almost naked in some cases actually naked, yet a mother who needs to feed her baby and you cant see anything, this isn’t ok?

I have had a bad experience myself. Before I tell you, let me say, I’m a really shy and private person. I only breast feed in front of my partner, if we had family or friends over, I would retreat to my bedroom. I’ve always planned my days around when my child needs feeding so this could be done in the comfort of my home, so I rarely ever went far and for too long.

Ok, so one day I had planned a day out with a friend, we would go to the beach. I had prepared the right amount of bottles for the occasion, I was set, but just incase I packed my nipple shields ready incase of emergency. After the beach we decided to grab some lunch before heading home. My son was peacefully asleep and wasn’t due a feed for another hour or so, I had time… or so I thought!. I ordered my lunch then my son woke up and wasn’t going to settle. I had used the bottles I had planned for, as we were longer then expected I only had the choice to attempt a breast feed. I had never done it in public before, I wasn’t going to be able to get home in time, so I had no choice but to go ahead. I found the most discreet place I could find, upstairs outdoors where there was no one else, I had my son under a muslin, you could only see his little legs hanging out the other side and I was facing a corner. I was only up there for a couple of minutes when an older couple came up. They sat far way on the other side of the room, we made eye contact and smiled, then you could see the realization of what I was doing on there faces, the look was awful!  After a bit of muttering between them they got up and left. How much more discreet could I have been, yet I was still made to feel ashamed of my actions. If you have read my previous post on breast feeding, you will understand how difficult it had been for me, and what courage it took for me to actually do this in public. That was the first and last time I breast fed in public. I went back into my old routine of only going out around my feeds.

whenever I see another mother breast feeding her child, I always smile and I feel so proud for her, for one that she can actually breast feed and for 2 she has the courage to do it in public regardless of the criticism she may face. I do understand there are many places who encourage mothers to breast feed and those places are the best!! however there are still so many places which do not and this is just not right. I really hope this issue becomes an issue of the past very soon.

I am currently pregnant with my second child, and I do plan on breast feeding again. I hope I have the courage to do so if out in public this time. I also hope I don’t face the same struggles I did with my son.

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

Mum Friends

When I was living on Sark with my new born baby I had no family as they were all in Australia, and only 1 other mummy friend who was working full time. My partner who worked in Hospitality would work long hours. It was a pretty lonely time. All my old non mummy friends would be going out and enjoying the life I used to have. If I wanted to see my friends, I would need to arrange a get together at my house with a bottle of wine and nibbles, these were very rare occasions. I would hear stories about my friends social lives and what they had been up to. This used to be me, not any longer.

When my son was 9 months old, we relocated for my partners work to a town in the UK. Not having known anyone in this town, I decided to join mums net and posted an ad requesting other mum friends to catch up with over coffee, or some social outings. I had a couple of responses and after speaking online to 2 mums, we soon realized we had all been speaking together and decided to meet up at a local library singing group for babies and would go for coffee afterwards. I was s nervous and scared, this was completely out of my comfort zone, but I did it!  luckily the 3 of us hit it of straight away, all our babies were under 1 and only a couple of months apart and all boys!!

It was great to be able to go to playgroups with friends, as playgroups can be daunting when you don’t know anyone, and everyone else seems to know everyone. We would go to swimming classes once a week, playgroups, catch up for lunch, go shopping, pop over each others houses for a coffee and cake catch up while our little ones played. It was so nice when my partner comes home and asked what I had been up to, instead of saying, “oh nothing, just potted round the house” I could say, “oh I met with so and so and we went here or did this”  I was actually starting to feel like I had a life for the first time since my son was born. I cant even stress the importance these ladies had on my life at this time. We would chat about anything and everything, all things baby related, not baby related, to our worries, fears, we compared labor and pregnancy stories, gave each other advice, an ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry or laugh on and more importantly they made me feel human again.

Then a year after meeting them, my partner and I decided to relocate to Australia. I was really sad to be leaving my new friends, they were more then friends, more of a life line really. I had the perfect little mummy group and I was leaving them! Now we are back in Australia, I have my family close by which is great. However, I have not yet made any new mummy friends, ill keep on searching. I recently met up with an old friend who has since had children and it was lovely to catch up with her, and I hope to again in the near future as Timmy loved playing with her son also. I don’t live in a big city and I find there just isn’t the sort of community for mums like there was back in the UK. I do miss that.

Please share your experiences with me, and if you know of any mummy websites or groups I would love to hear about them!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

Breast Feeding, Conflicting Advice, Nipple Shields & Mastitis.

Call me ignorant, i figured when my son was born i would just pop him on my breast and he would do the rest! It didn’t quit go that way, being my first child i hadn’t really had a back up plan should i struggle. I only had a small manual hand pump and that was just so i could express so my partner could feed. I had no formula, no sterilized bottles ready, no nipple shield’s, but i hadn’t even hear of nipple shield’s by this point! I went to all the breast feeding classes, and walked away thinking all i need to do is position baby right and your good to go! They didn’t tell you a back up plan, or provide you with other options in the classes. So this is how it went for me.

timmy-bottle

The first time i put baby to feed, he did 2 sucks and stopped completely. The first midwife came in and made sure i was positioning him correctly, showing different positions and techniques yet my adorable bundle would only do the maximum 2 sucks and stop. The midwife said he was a lazy baby and until he learnt properly suggested to hand express to ensure he was still getting fed. She gave me a small syringe i would hand express and suck up what came out through the syringe. A long process and not fun! she told me to do this every 3-4 hours no earlier. Baby should feed better when hungry. The second morning a different midwife came in to see me as i was trying yet again on the breast, yet my adorable son wasn’t having any of it, 2 sucks and release. She was mortified that i explained the first lady told me 3-4 hours between feeds. She recommended when ever baby cries i should feed him, so there started my confusion on when i should be feeding him. well she tried yet again with positioning etc, however she gave me a little sterilized jar to express into and then i would suck up my milk through a syringe to feed. quicker yet still not what i was expecting, it shouldn’t be this hard i thought. I was starting to feel concerned and upset that my baby wouldn’t feed, whats wrong with me? what am i doing wrong?

On the afternoon of my second day in hospital i had a 3rd midwife come in extremely hands on, trying to express herself, positioning baby herself and yet again offering different and conflicting advice from the previous 2 midwives. This just about did me in, i was extremely confused, frustrated and upset. I was none the wiser as when to feed, how much to feed and knew no other options besides formula, which was discouraged, i was told keep persisting, don’t give up! I felt like i was letting my son down. I kept all my tears hidden until i was alone with baby, i would then hold my son tears flowing and apologizing for not being a better mum and saying i was so sorry i wasnt ood at feeding him properly. I was afraid if i cried in front of a midwife they would think i had postnatal depression. Such a silly thing to think, had i of told them my worries they may have offered different advice, who knows. I should have told them i was upset by my struggling. i just didn’t want to show it.

So my partner came to visit, and i talked to him about how confused i was feeling by all the different advice and struggling, and i just wanted to go home and try and figure this out by myself. He said if that’s what i wanted to do and if i think that’s whats best then sure. So i arranged to be discharged the following day. Now if you have read my previous post you will know how difficult it is trying to get from Guernsey back to Sark, although i only needed to catch a boat this time, I had to feed baby right before we left so i would make the journey home in time for his next feed, it would be at least 21/2 hours before i would arrive home. However before i left the hospital the “expert breast feeding midwife” who can solve any problems came to visit me, she tried every trick in her book, every position, every technique she knew, my son was stubborn doing his 2 suck minimum and in the end she had to admit defeat. Her pearl of wisdom before leaving, “don’t give up, keep persisting.” At this point if i hear this saying anymore ill crack! so she leaves, and I’ve finished hand expressing and syringe feeding my son, got him changed and were packed ready to go when a final midwife comes(yet another midwife i have not seen before) in to go through discharge papers and ensure i was ok to go, i got chatting with her explaining my issues when she told me about nipple shield’s, there like a teat you put over your nipples which assists baby sucking…. why had no-one mentioned these before? Straight to boots (a UK chemist) before catching our boat. I brought 2 packets, 4 shield’s in total. There only a short term solution until baby learns to suck himself properly, however once home i put them in the sterilizer and put them to the test, they were the miracle i had been waiting for! My son was happily sucking away like a pro! Between feeds i would manually express so i had a bottle available when needed, or for my partner to feed. I still however was none the wiser on how long to feed baby, and i don’t think i was feeding for long enough because my son seemed to want feeding constantly and was restless between feeds. I didn’t know i was supposed to keep track of the last breast he fed from and alternate, i was completely clueless. After about 2 weeks of the nipple shield’s being used, they stop sticking, i couldn’t just pop to boots to get more as it required a 1 hour boat trip. I got some online, however, they were expensive and just didn’t do the job, Timmy didn’t like them. So the next stage started, as he still wasn’t doing more then 2 sucks on my actual breast, i would express, feed, sterilize, *Repeat* this was right up until 2 months, it was tiring, exhausting and just hard work. One day Timmy started sucking correctly, out of the blue one day decided he would get his act together….FINALLY!!!!! however, it was short lived, i got mastitis. Anyone who has ever had Mastitis knows how painful it can be, i felt full of flu, and every time i let Timmy near my breast i would be in tears of pain. The doctor gave me some antibiotics and encouraged me to continue breast feeding through the pain….i tried i just couldn’t, and expressing was even painful. That’s when i decided enough was enough, it had been 2 months of “trying”. I spoke to my partner as he had seen my struggling for the past 2 months, he agreed if switching to formula was what was best for me and baby then that’s what i should do, as long as Timmy is being fed and he is not hungry and is happy then we will get formula.

So as you can see, breast feeding was not easy for me, i wasn’t one of the lucky ones where there baby just latches on and goes for it. I gave it a damn good go, and i cant even tell you the guilt i felt from switching from breast to formula, i cried a lot. There is so much pressure on mums to breast feed, i felt like a failure when i switched to formula, even though my son seemed happier after every feed and going longer between feeds the guilt remained. The pressure to breast feed is unbelievable, Of course i think it should be encouraged because as they say, breast is best, however it is not easy and its a deeply personal decision every mother needs to make for herself and the best interests of their baby.

bottle-feeding-timmy

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx