Mother’s Day

This post comes a little late, but I have been very ill the past couple of weeks with the flu and also very busy. So here it is, better late then never!

Mother’s day will always be bitter sweet for me. My mother died when I was only 1 years old, leaving my dad to look after my older sister 3yrs, myself 1yrs, and my younger sister 2 months old.

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My Dad, me and my older sister

Growing up with one parent was confusing for me when I was younger. All my friends had a mum and dad, were all still together. I was the only one I knew with one parent. Mothers day at school was something I dreaded, I absolutely hated it. The teachers would give us mothers day cards to color in and decorate, which was always fine with me – I would give these to my dad. Then one year, the teacher gave me a different stencil to color in, I think it was a left over Christmas or Easter stencil instead and claimed I might prefer to do those instead. I was so embarrassed as all the other kids asked why I wasn’t doing mother’s day card’s like them. I had to tell them why. I think I was only in year one or 2, so i was fairly young but I remember it like it was yesterday.

Then the following year the teacher asked me if I would prefer to do something else instead of a Mother’s day card, I chose to do the card. I would give it to my dad of course! That’s when I decided Mothers day would be Mothers-fathers day. Dad did both roles, so why not celebrate mothers day with him. Over the years we made some awful breakfasts which we were super proud of and take it to him in bed with a coffee. We would give him awful gifts we had brought at the mother’s day stall at school… truly, they only had things like soap, pot purri, and everything was pink and frilly, or they had these little chocolate balls covered in coconut. They never catered for anyone in my situation. One year, I brought him a pair of pink ballerina plastic pot purri shoes, which to his credit, he hung on his wall in his bedroom for many years.

When I started the work force I hated and avoided talk of Mother’s day, when all the ladies gathered in the kitchen talking about there plans, I would excuse myself or avoid the gathering until the conversation had moved on to something else. I just did not want to be asked “what will you be doing for mother’s day” then having to make up something stupid like “oh, not much, just having a nice dinner” as that was easier then telling them my mother died when I was little and having to put up with the “oh, im so sorry” “oh it must be so hard for you” etc. It’s just awkward and weird.

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My Mum

So now I have grown up and  have my own family and I feel extremely blessed that I get to celebrate mother’s day with my 2 boys. Mother’s day is now not a day I want to hurry up and pass, but a day I can now participate in and give it new meaning. Mother’s day will always be a little sad for me, as it is a reminder of the mother I have lost and who I can never celebrate mother’s day with – even though I do not remember her or never got to know her. I will always wonder what her voice sounded like, what her favorite color was,  her favorite food, song or perfume ect which will always be unanswered, and I hope I am around long enough for my children not to ever have to wonder anything about me. I can never tell my mum I love her, give her a hug, share girly chats or to have a special bond. But I have photos of her which will remain very special and I don’t take being a mum for granted, it is a true gift, one I am living that my mother didn’t get to, which makes me very sad for her. I appreciate being a mum so much more I think as I did not grow up with one. And it is only now I can truly appreciate what my dad had to go through raising us. I have 2 children and a partner and find it tough at times, I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like raising 3 young girls as a single parent and needing to work full time. It takes a special kinda person.

So this past mother’s day I had a lovely day which I celebrated with my 2 children, my sister, step brother and step mother. We had a lovely lunch, where I even treated myself to a glass of bubbly. I feel so blessed I am lucky enough to be a mum, and that my dad who much later in life found someone to take on and step up in the role of looking after not only her own 2 children but taking on 3 others. Even though we were much older by this stage, it was not easy going for many years. But we all finally found our way and now we have another reason to be grateful on mother’s day!

XX Life In A Mum Shell XX

Author: lifeinamumshell

This blog is my life as a mum, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. I share my personal stories and any advice and knowledge I have gained along the way. Enjoy.

18 thoughts on “Mother’s Day”

  1. Ah, it sounds like you had a wonderful day. How lovely it’s now a day you can look forward to. Thanks for joining #TriumphantTales, hope to see you back next week! 🙂

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  2. When I saw the title of your post I thought to myself ok I can deal with a Mothers Day Post now it’s a few weeks past, as I lost my Mum a couple of years ago so find them difficult now – couldn’t have been more wrong lol! I think that once I get an emotional grip you may have just put a lot of things into perspective for me, and reminded me how lucky I am to have my memories – I wish I could do the same for you xxx

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  3. It must be such a relief to be able to look forward to Mother’s Day now. It sounds like you had a wonderful time. I must say your dad sounds amazing and like he stepped up in a situation that must have been unimaginable.

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    1. I do love mothers day now, even if it is tinged with a little sadness at not being able to celebrate with my own mum. i feel extra lucky to celebrate with my boys. kids are a gift. Yes my dad managed to raise us all good, i can just appreciate now hard it must have been now i have my own children.

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  4. Wow, this post tugged so hard on my heart. You are such a strong person and your dad sounds amazing. Mothers Day has such a new meaning to you now you have little ones. It’s so lovely that you can now enjoy it and cherish it with them. xx

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    1. Thank you, yes its only now i have 2 little ones i can truly appreciate how hard it was for my dad to have raised us girls. Would have been so incredibly hard! i do feel very lucky i get to spend and celebrate mothers day with my boys.

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  5. I see my mum everyday, I can’t imagine how it must have been for you and your sister. Your dad sounds like a fantastic man and I’m glad you now have your own family so you can celebrate being a mum yourself

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    1. Thank you. It is only now i have my own children i can appreciate how hard it was for him to handle 3 of us under 4 years old… it would have been so hard! i appreciate mothers day so much more and feel extrmly lucky i get to celebrate with my kiddies. Thank you for your lovely words x

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