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Gender Dissapointment

Who out there has ever experienced gender disappointment? Convinced yourself you were going to be having a girl to find out you were having a boy or vice versa?

This current pregnancy, my 2nd, I experienced just this! When i found out i was pregnant, although i kept my thoughts to myself for the first 3 months, i was convinced i was going to be having a girl. I went for the first scan at 3 months, when we saw we had a nice wriggly happy baby, i allowed myself to get very excited and started sharing my thoughts with my partner and my family that i was almost certain it would be a girl. Call it mothers instinct, gut instinct or woman’s intuition… i was 110 percent sure it was a girl. So much so, boys names were not a thought on my brain, i had a few solid girls names i was happy with. Not one boys name. I had this same instinct when i was pregnant with my first, i knew the moment i was pregnant he would be a boy and i was so spot on. I wasn’t going to question my instincts a second time. I felt really connected to my first baby during pregnancy and after, and i was excited to feel this way again a second time.

We went for the second scan and after revealing all was good, nothing to be worried about except a low lying placenta, but baby was fine. So i plucked up the courage to find out what we were having. During the scan it wasn’t obvious, you couldn’t tell so i was sure i had it pegged right again. After her searching for some time, she finally said “Ah, there we go, see there…. its definitely a boy!” I instantly felt sad, don’t get me wrong i knew how lucky i was to be pregnant with a healthy baby after my historyΒ Miscarriages and Molar pregnanciesΒ but as we drove home i just felt really sad. I even wanted to cry. What had happen to my mothers instinct? My internal woman’s gut instinct only us girls have? how could i have been so sure, yet so wrong? I was really excited at the thought of having one of each, perfect! I guess my disappointment showed in the car on the way home because Carl looked at me and said “Try not to be too disappointed, we have a healthy baby and that’s all that matters.” Of course he was right, but how could he understand how i was feeling right now? It wasn’t even so much that i was having a boy, it was more so that i was wrong, my instinct was off. Am i not connected to this baby like i was the first time? I just couldn’t get to grips my mum instinct was so wrong. Carl couldn’t understand how i was feeling, he tried, but hes not a woman and only a mum could really understand how this feels. It took me a good week to start shifting my feelings and thoughts and accept i was wrong. In actual fact, i still haven’t understood how i could be so wrong. But i am very excited at having another boy. Mind you we still have not any names picked, its a lot harder this time trying to find a boys name. The first time oddly enough i found everything easy, this time around it all seems a lot harder.

The perks to having another boy… I can keep all of Timmy’s nice clothes, hand me downs Β (sorry 2nd baby) but i must say, even Timmy had hand me downs among his new baby clothes. Toys can be kept and reused, plates, decorations all boy stuff can be kept. Also, i’m now used to what its like having a boy, so in that respect i know what i am in for.

I would love to hear any feedback or comments you may have on this subject as i’m sure i’m not the only person in the world to have experienced this!

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

4 thoughts on “Gender Dissapointment”

  1. What a lovely honest post, when i was pregnant with my second chid (already had a boy) and they told me at the 20 week scan I was having another boy, I would be lying if part of me didnt feel slightly disappointed. I like you had thought I would have 1 of each and walking away from the scan I remember feeling happy and relieved everything was okay but then felt guilty that my initial thought was disappointment. I did have a little cry to myself when I was in the shower later and although it sounds ridiculous a kind of mourning for the daughter I knew I would never have. I was upset for the future me not being able to be mother of the bride or my daughters birthing patner and all the other silly things you think about. I remember standing in the shower thinking ‘God I hope I am not going to feel like this forever’ but within a day or so all thoughts of disappointment left me and I started feeling really excited that my little boy was going to have a brother. I started to think of all the things they would get up to together and the strong bond they would have. Now my second boy is nearly 20 months old and we have such a laugh together, the boys are so loving and come out with the funniest things, its so cheesy but sometimes they make my heart feel like bursting when they give each other cuddles and play together (they do also make me feel like screaming some days too lol) So in the end, I am so pleased I had 2 boys and I would not change it for the world. Good luck with your pregnancy it’s definitely a bonus about being able to share clothes! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It’s nice to know that i am not the only one who feels this way, and it is normal to feel like this. It is nice to be able to relate. I am looking forward to my son having a little buddy to play with and grow and have a bond with. Thanks again. really appreciate it x


  2. Firstly, congrats!
    Secondly I can totally relate as was convinced my first was a bit and my husband had his heart set on it and then we found out she was a girl at the 20 week scan. I was delighted but he took some time to adjust. He confessed he was surprised at his reaction but can’t image life without a girl now. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m loving hearing others experiences with this, as its a hard topic no one usually talks about. I was surprised by my initial reaction, i’m now very excited. I was more disappointed by the fact my instinct was wrong, i could have sworn it would be a girl. We still have not picked a name with 3 weeks left to go! Thank you for sharing your experience πŸ™‚ x


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