The one thing since becoming a mum I can’t stand is people giving there opinion and passing judgment on your parenting skills, especially those who do not have children, or whose children are all grown up – times have changed, things are different now!
Since I have had Timmy, I try really hard not to pass judgment on other parents, you just don’t know there situation. When you see a mother loose her shit in a grocery store, pre mum me would have thought ‘bit of an over-reaction’ or ‘she shouldn’t yell at her kids like that’ but now I have had a child I see it differently.
I look at that mum with such sympathy and understanding, because who hasn’t been there right? And if you haven’t your sure to experience this very public melt down at some point and most likely more the once. There are so many events which could have led her to the very public meltdown for instance, a child who wakes up in a fowl mood after being up most of the night and doesn’t want anything you give them for breakfast and throws it all over the floor or at you. Then refuses to get dressed running around the house screaming so you need to tackle them while they are kicking and screaming while you struggle to put their clothes or nappy on. Once they look semi decent, you the try to make yourself look decent, while the child screams at you or bangs on the door of the bathroom while you are trying to get a comb through your hair and brush your teeth in an attempt to feel and look human, meanwhile you finally manage to get out of the house, the child refuses to sit in his car seat and straightens out as stiff as a board so its impossible to strap him in. Once you finally make it to the shops only to realize there is a big stain from your child smeared all over your shirt.( Never judge a mum who hasn’t a clean shirt on, they don’t do it intentionally, I should know!) The child refuses to sit in their pram or trolley, then decide they don’t like their shoes, at some point pull them off and by the time you realize its too late there long gone. So when you see that mum loose her shit, have some sympathy. Don’t be so quick to judge as kids and parents have bad days. Just last week I was out shopping and another heavily pregnant lady was walking through the shops with a toddler who was lying on the floor screaming and kicking their legs. I truly felt for her and gave her the smile that said “it’s ok, I understand” look. She looked so mortified and stressed yet trying so hard to keep calm.
Its even worse when Family and friends chip in with their 2 cents of advice. Even if its well meaning and coming from a good place, if you haven’t asked for it, it should be give unless absolutely necessary and can be some way helpful and not insulting. I’ve heard plenty of comments coming my way such as “he is too old to still be I nappy’s why is he not potty trained?” or “your routine isn’t working, why do you bother?” or ” your son is naughty, you need to stop him doing this or that” or “he should eat less of this, more of that, you shouldn’t feed him this…” I literally could go on all day with the comments that come way from ‘well-meaning’ friends and family.
What is sometimes even worse when you ask someone for there advice on a situation and they don’t give it to you, but then after you have made a decision and acted on it they then feel free to give you there advice on how you handled it “oh, I wouldn’t of done it that way, I thought that was wrong when you were doing it, I would have don’t it this way!” that has happened to me so may times. Say something when I ask you, not later as it doesn’t help then!
As a parent you take each day as it comes, and make the best decisions for your child at the time. Comments like these can be really hurtful and upsetting and make you feel like your not a good enough parent or make you feel you are letting your child down in someway. I have cried a lot over many comments like these, especially when I am trying my best as a mother.
That’s my rant for today, hope you enjoy!
xx Life In A Mum Shell xx