I love my child more than words describe, but there are times I need a damn break from him! Not only for my own sanity but for his also. It does him and me good! when Timmy was first born, I struggled with this idea, “Does this mean I don’t love him?” “Am I a bad mum for needing time away from my baby?” well, no! its actually the opposite, taking some much needed me time ensures your the best mum you can be. If its only to catch up on some much needed rest, or to sit and relax without interruption. My partner would come home and say he was taking the baby out for a walk and I should get some rest. I felt guilty at the time for sleeping while he looked after the baby, but it was the best thing for me, even if I didn’t realise it at the time.
When I was a full time stay at home mum trying to find “me time” I tried doing things I would do before baby came along such as going out to lunch with friends or out to dinner with my partner or family to get me and baby out of the house, but having baby with me was hard. He seemed to know when it was mummy’s feeding time, and on queue would scream the whole place down. So not a lot of conversation or eating took place. When me and carl would try to go for dinner we would need to play tag, one would hurriedly eat while the other walked around trying to calm baby down, then switch. Not very romantic or quality time spent, and more was stressful than anything.
I soon figured out how to fit in some “me time” around my baby. After 4 months he started getting into a routine, regular sleeping patterns and naps, so I used this time to my advantage! Before it was spent cleaning, sterilizing, pumping, eating ect so usually during the day time naps this is when I would catch up on some much needed sleep or I would sit down and eat…. such a luxury not to be interrupted these days! Or sit and watch some trashy day time TV or read a book and just switch of for an hour or so. I came to love Timmy’s naps times, I used to hate them, as I would be rushing around trying to get as much other stuff done as possible and never get a chance to sit as Timmy would be awake before I knew it. But once I decided no more housework during nap times and just make it my chill out time, the difference it made to my whole day was incredible. Sitting down with a packet of biscuits (I say a packet, as the reality is, I never ate just one, The whole packet would be gone!) a cup of tea and watching day time TV is pure luxury.
Of course there were days I never got my “me time” as Timmy refused to sleep which left both him and me cranky and in a state. But on these bad days the one thing that got me through was knowing that bed time was at 7pm, by 7.15pm I would be in a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine, a good book and candles when I felt like really indulging! now this was pure bliss. It became my nightly ritual, so much so, carl would come home and say “hello, are you in the bath again?” yes, I was! he would often top up my wine glass for me if I finished it before I was ready to get out of the bath, now that’s love! These moments were huge in saving my sanity. The little things became the most important things, and things I used to take for granted, were now things I needed and really appreciated.
These days I take any opportunity to find “me time”. Its been great having Carl of as he hasn’t been able to work for 3 months due to his visa process. I haven’t needed to worry about as much and when I’m tired I can take my naps during the day while carl can look after Timmy, I can actually get sleep ins when I’m not working and its been nice sharing the work load. Carl help’s do dinner times and other odd jobs that need doing. I know very soon Carl will be back at work, and ill be a full time mummy to Timmy and the new little one again trying to fit in “me time” again into the little gaps I have possible. So while Carl has been of, I have used this to my advantage, without the guilt. So, excuse me while I go open a packet of Tim Tams, make a tea and relax with a book!
xx Life In A Mum Shell xx