When I was living on Sark with my new born baby I had no family as they were all in Australia, and only 1 other mummy friend who was working full time. My partner who worked in Hospitality would work long hours. It was a pretty lonely time. All my old non mummy friends would be going out and enjoying the life I used to have. If I wanted to see my friends, I would need to arrange a get together at my house with a bottle of wine and nibbles, these were very rare occasions. I would hear stories about my friends social lives and what they had been up to. This used to be me, not any longer.
When my son was 9 months old, we relocated for my partners work to a town in the UK. Not having known anyone in this town, I decided to join mums net and posted an ad requesting other mum friends to catch up with over coffee, or some social outings. I had a couple of responses and after speaking online to 2 mums, we soon realized we had all been speaking together and decided to meet up at a local library singing group for babies and would go for coffee afterwards. I was s nervous and scared, this was completely out of my comfort zone, but I did it! luckily the 3 of us hit it of straight away, all our babies were under 1 and only a couple of months apart and all boys!!
It was great to be able to go to playgroups with friends, as playgroups can be daunting when you don’t know anyone, and everyone else seems to know everyone. We would go to swimming classes once a week, playgroups, catch up for lunch, go shopping, pop over each others houses for a coffee and cake catch up while our little ones played. It was so nice when my partner comes home and asked what I had been up to, instead of saying, “oh nothing, just potted round the house” I could say, “oh I met with so and so and we went here or did this” I was actually starting to feel like I had a life for the first time since my son was born. I cant even stress the importance these ladies had on my life at this time. We would chat about anything and everything, all things baby related, not baby related, to our worries, fears, we compared labor and pregnancy stories, gave each other advice, an ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry or laugh on and more importantly they made me feel human again.
Then a year after meeting them, my partner and I decided to relocate to Australia. I was really sad to be leaving my new friends, they were more then friends, more of a life line really. I had the perfect little mummy group and I was leaving them! Now we are back in Australia, I have my family close by which is great. However, I have not yet made any new mummy friends, ill keep on searching. I recently met up with an old friend who has since had children and it was lovely to catch up with her, and I hope to again in the near future as Timmy loved playing with her son also. I don’t live in a big city and I find there just isn’t the sort of community for mums like there was back in the UK. I do miss that.
Please share your experiences with me, and if you know of any mummy websites or groups I would love to hear about them!
xx Life In A Mum Shell xx