Breast Feeding, Conflicting Advice, Nipple Shields & Mastitis.

Call me ignorant, i figured when my son was born i would just pop him on my breast and he would do the rest! It didn’t quit go that way, being my first child i hadn’t really had a back up plan should i struggle. I only had a small manual hand pump and that was just so i could express so my partner could feed. I had no formula, no sterilized bottles ready, no nipple shield’s, but i hadn’t even hear of nipple shield’s by this point! I went to all the breast feeding classes, and walked away thinking all i need to do is position baby right and your good to go! They didn’t tell you a back up plan, or provide you with other options in the classes. So this is how it went for me.

timmy-bottle

The first time i put baby to feed, he did 2 sucks and stopped completely. The first midwife came in and made sure i was positioning him correctly, showing different positions and techniques yet my adorable bundle would only do the maximum 2 sucks and stop. The midwife said he was a lazy baby and until he learnt properly suggested to hand express to ensure he was still getting fed. She gave me a small syringe i would hand express and suck up what came out through the syringe. A long process and not fun! she told me to do this every 3-4 hours no earlier. Baby should feed better when hungry. The second morning a different midwife came in to see me as i was trying yet again on the breast, yet my adorable son wasn’t having any of it, 2 sucks and release. She was mortified that i explained the first lady told me 3-4 hours between feeds. She recommended when ever baby cries i should feed him, so there started my confusion on when i should be feeding him. well she tried yet again with positioning etc, however she gave me a little sterilized jar to express into and then i would suck up my milk through a syringe to feed. quicker yet still not what i was expecting, it shouldn’t be this hard i thought. I was starting to feel concerned and upset that my baby wouldn’t feed, whats wrong with me? what am i doing wrong?

On the afternoon of my second day in hospital i had a 3rd midwife come in extremely hands on, trying to express herself, positioning baby herself and yet again offering different and conflicting advice from the previous 2 midwives. This just about did me in, i was extremely confused, frustrated and upset. I was none the wiser as when to feed, how much to feed and knew no other options besides formula, which was discouraged, i was told keep persisting, don’t give up! I felt like i was letting my son down. I kept all my tears hidden until i was alone with baby, i would then hold my son tears flowing and apologizing for not being a better mum and saying i was so sorry i wasnt ood at feeding him properly. I was afraid if i cried in front of a midwife they would think i had postnatal depression. Such a silly thing to think, had i of told them my worries they may have offered different advice, who knows. I should have told them i was upset by my struggling. i just didn’t want to show it.

So my partner came to visit, and i talked to him about how confused i was feeling by all the different advice and struggling, and i just wanted to go home and try and figure this out by myself. He said if that’s what i wanted to do and if i think that’s whats best then sure. So i arranged to be discharged the following day. Now if you have read my previous post you will know how difficult it is trying to get from Guernsey back to Sark, although i only needed to catch a boat this time, I had to feed baby right before we left so i would make the journey home in time for his next feed, it would be at least 21/2 hours before i would arrive home. However before i left the hospital the “expert breast feeding midwife” who can solve any problems came to visit me, she tried every trick in her book, every position, every technique she knew, my son was stubborn doing his 2 suck minimum and in the end she had to admit defeat. Her pearl of wisdom before leaving, “don’t give up, keep persisting.” At this point if i hear this saying anymore ill crack! so she leaves, and I’ve finished hand expressing and syringe feeding my son, got him changed and were packed ready to go when a final midwife comes(yet another midwife i have not seen before) in to go through discharge papers and ensure i was ok to go, i got chatting with her explaining my issues when she told me about nipple shield’s, there like a teat you put over your nipples which assists baby sucking…. why had no-one mentioned these before? Straight to boots (a UK chemist) before catching our boat. I brought 2 packets, 4 shield’s in total. There only a short term solution until baby learns to suck himself properly, however once home i put them in the sterilizer and put them to the test, they were the miracle i had been waiting for! My son was happily sucking away like a pro! Between feeds i would manually express so i had a bottle available when needed, or for my partner to feed. I still however was none the wiser on how long to feed baby, and i don’t think i was feeding for long enough because my son seemed to want feeding constantly and was restless between feeds. I didn’t know i was supposed to keep track of the last breast he fed from and alternate, i was completely clueless. After about 2 weeks of the nipple shield’s being used, they stop sticking, i couldn’t just pop to boots to get more as it required a 1 hour boat trip. I got some online, however, they were expensive and just didn’t do the job, Timmy didn’t like them. So the next stage started, as he still wasn’t doing more then 2 sucks on my actual breast, i would express, feed, sterilize, *Repeat* this was right up until 2 months, it was tiring, exhausting and just hard work. One day Timmy started sucking correctly, out of the blue one day decided he would get his act together….FINALLY!!!!! however, it was short lived, i got mastitis. Anyone who has ever had Mastitis knows how painful it can be, i felt full of flu, and every time i let Timmy near my breast i would be in tears of pain. The doctor gave me some antibiotics and encouraged me to continue breast feeding through the pain….i tried i just couldn’t, and expressing was even painful. That’s when i decided enough was enough, it had been 2 months of “trying”. I spoke to my partner as he had seen my struggling for the past 2 months, he agreed if switching to formula was what was best for me and baby then that’s what i should do, as long as Timmy is being fed and he is not hungry and is happy then we will get formula.

So as you can see, breast feeding was not easy for me, i wasn’t one of the lucky ones where there baby just latches on and goes for it. I gave it a damn good go, and i cant even tell you the guilt i felt from switching from breast to formula, i cried a lot. There is so much pressure on mums to breast feed, i felt like a failure when i switched to formula, even though my son seemed happier after every feed and going longer between feeds the guilt remained. The pressure to breast feed is unbelievable, Of course i think it should be encouraged because as they say, breast is best, however it is not easy and its a deeply personal decision every mother needs to make for herself and the best interests of their baby.

bottle-feeding-timmy

xx Life In A Mum Shell xx

 

Author: lifeinamumshell

This blog is my life as a mum, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between. I share my personal stories and any advice and knowledge I have gained along the way. Enjoy.

17 thoughts on “Breast Feeding, Conflicting Advice, Nipple Shields & Mastitis.”

  1. Blimey! I never knew it was such a complicated process, and it seems that there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to technique! I’m sorry that you had to go through the stress of being told lots of different ways to do things, but it seems you sorted it in the end! It must be very difficult for a new mum. The responsibility of performing to the highest standards in a completely new, stressful environment. I commend you all, ladies!

    Like

  2. Blimey! I never knew it was such a complicated process, and it seems that there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to technique! I’m sorry that you had to go through the stress of being told lots of different ways to do things, but it seems you sorted it in the end! It must be very difficult for a new mum. The responsibility of performing to the highest standards in a completely new, stressful environment. I commend you all, ladies!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment. It is stupid the pressure put on women, especially first time mums. Mum guilt is the worst! I’ve had my second son recently, and I knew what I was in for, I was a lot more relaxed and prepared for the unplanned this time around! Lucky my experience was so much better!

      Like

    1. Absolutely. Being a first time mum the pressure I felt to breast feed then the guilt I felt when I couldn’t was terrible. As long as baby is happy healthy and being fed, it really doesn’t matter! They won’t remember what they were fed anyway! 🙂

      Like

    1. Yes, it doesn’t help when baby just won’t breast feed and all they say is persevere, he will do it when he gets hungry enough! In the end we found what worked for us! That’s the best way.

      Like

    1. Yep that’s the best way, to go with what works for you and to take all advice with a grain of salt otherwise it’s all too much. Second time around I knew what I was in for and what other options were available if I needed them. Lucky Elijah only wants breast, I’ve tried expressing and feeding in a bottle, wasn’t into it at all. Both my boys so far are opposites. I feel very lucky I’m able to breast feed this time around.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, unbelievable the different and conflicting advice you got. You can see why so many mums don’t try after leaving hospital if it’s that stressful. You should be proud of yourself for getting as far as two months with Timmy. You’ve given him the best start and that’s all anyone can ask of you, so please don’t beat yourself up xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Was a very tough time especially being my first I had no idea what I was doing! But I’ve now been breast feeding my second son for 3 months solidly. I was so determined to make it work, lucky he has taken to it from the beginning. I thought with Timmy it was something I was doing wrong, turns out he just didn’t like the boob! I know many mums who didn’t even try as the pressure was too much! It’s understandable.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I have written about my own experiences of breastfeeding. Midwives pushing for breastfeeding was very unhelpful and when Matthew sicked up blood and I took him to A&E I was advised to stop. The midwife the next day treated me like an idiot and told me to ignore the doctors and nurses. I didn’t. I found my own way and breast fed all 3 of my babies to over a year in combination with formula. Fed is best for mother and child’s physical and mental wellbeing.

    Like

    1. It’s so hard being told different things and getting conflicting advice. Oh wow, I would be so scared if my son was sicking up blood.I hope it was nothing too serious? Yes, in the end I think it’s important what works for each person is what they should do. As long as baby is being fed and is happy loved and looked after that’s all that matters. Thank you for your lovely comment x

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s